Colocation America Reviews: Documentaries

Chris

Welcome back! It’s time once again for another Colocation America Reviews–this time, we take a look at our favorite documentaries. Because learning is fun only in movie form. First off, how is everyone doing?

Samantha

Great!

Chris

I feel like we haven’t talked in awhile even though we are literally in the same office

Samantha

Sorry, I was trying to see if I can spell feen – or whatever that slang term is

Chris

Feen? The hell is feen?

Samantha

Yeah – it’s slang but not the slang term I wanted

Chris

Slang for what?

Samantha

I wanted to say, essentially, I’m a documentary junkie

Chris

Should we change this into a slang review?

Q.C.

Ooo please! Let’s do slang. I love slang.

Chris

That might be in the pipeline now.

Q.C.

Now what does a Documentary junkie get off on?

Samantha

Great documentaries, duh

Chris

Oh ok, that narrows it down.

Q.C.

But like… any type of documentaries?

Chris

Yeah, let’s start with that–what’s everyone’s favorite genre or type of documentary?

Q.C.

True Crime

Samantha

Personally, I dig any documentary but I have to go with World War II docs. That is super narrow

Chris

Like the kind that the History Channel used to show constantly before they started on aliens?

Q.C.

Besides “Band of Brothers” what is your favorite WWII documentary?

Chris

My favorite is the Tom Hanks documentary ‘Saving Private Ryan’. I didn’t know Hanks was in WWII

Samantha

Every comment I was going to make after that is done – I thought Forest Gump was a documentary, then wasn’t Hanks in the Vietnam War too?

Photo credit: aceshowbiz.com

Q.C.

You didn’t? I think that’s all the evidence you need

Chris

That’s the worst picture of anyone I’ve ever seen

Samantha

That scary hair! Halloween came early

Chris

Sam’s right–it’s like someone is wearing a Tom Hanks mask

Q.C.

You didn’t know how Sully became so good at water landings? He practiced in Pearl Harbor. Everyone else crashed. He didn’t

Chris

Ok, Sam–favorite WWII documentary?

Samantha

Well the most recent one I saw was on two sons of Nazi officers and how they deal with being the son of killers. Or rather what they felt about their Dads

Chris

What’s it called and where can you find it?

Samantha

Netflix but for the name, I need to login to my account and like everyone else in the world, I forgot my password

Chris

Perfect. I’m also a pretty big history buff, so those WWII docs are right up my alley–especially when it crosses with paranormal and you get stuff like Hitler and the Occult type stuff. I’m a sucker for anything that pertains to the paranormal or conspiracies

Samantha

Got it! Winner is: My Nazi Legacy

Chris

Oh, nice

Samantha

Thank you Google (Netflix fail)

Chris

That sounds like a sitcom on ABC. “My Nazi Legacy”, Mondays at 8pm on ABC. Followed by “Sh*t My Hitler Says” at 9

Samantha

Yeah – rough! Speaking of Netflix though, their documentaries are awesome. I have been meaning to watch 13th

Chris

SO GOOD

Samantha

Is it?!

Chris

I watched it the other day and it’s amazing

Samantha

Ok – I will watch it!

Chris

Very eye opening, especially dealing with how they frame the idea of the prison system as modern day slavery

Q.C.

Another Netflix one y’all should check out is “Amanda Knox”

Samantha

So good – I watched that one!

Q.C.

Yes! Not many come from the horse’s mouth, but this one did and it landed

Samantha

So is Foxy Knoxy (or whatever they called her), crazy?

Q.C.

Ummmm I don’t know. I think she got a bad rap because everyone thought she was a slut for buying lingerie

Samantha

Agreed – I support her!

Chris

She’s in prison still, right?

Q.C.

No, she’s living in Seattle

Chris

Ahhh, America’s prison.

Q.C.

Yeah, basically

Samantha

She got out, came back to the US, and was still on trial

Chris

(Just kidding, Seattle. You’re lovely and I hope to visit your gloomy city soon)

Q.C.

Italy does that whole you have to prove your innocence thing

Chris

Guilty until proven innocent?

Q.C.

and the USA was like, “NAWWWW Y’ALL TRIPPIN’”. I, personally, don’t think she did anything.

Chris

Hahahah was that the official statement from the US?

Q.C.

Yes it was. However, I can’t speak for her former boyfriend, though.

Chris

Because he’s dead?

Samantha

My favorite part in that documentary was when the Italian police/crew were all like “we have been doing law before you were born, America”

Q.C.

Photo credit: drawception.com

HAHAHAHHA. So stupid. Let’s go, Italy! Let’s roll. Let’s law it up

Samantha

I mean they have a point. Then again, America is always right, right?

Chris

Yes, we are.

Q.C.

Always

Chris

ALWAYS

Q.C.

More right than Italy, that’s for sure

Samantha

We are right even when the evidence says otherwise

Q.C.

When Italy is concerned, yes

Samantha

But in this case, we were right

Q.C.

We were protecting our own. These colors don’t run and we protect our own

Chris

Speaking of being right even when evidence says otherwise–what did everyone think about ‘Making A Murderer’?

Samantha

He was set up

Q.C.

Loved it. I thought it was brilliant film makers making their point brilliantly

Chris

So much for my “FREE BRENDAN DASSEY” t-shirts.

Samantha

And poor kid who just wanted to leave and would say anything to do so

Q.C.

He just wants to watch Wrestlemania

Chris

Free to watch all the WrestleMania’s in the world. I felt bad for Brendan, but Steve totally did that sh*t.

Samantha

He was the real victim here (well and the unfortunate lady)

Q.C.

Listen, if you throw cats into fire for fun… you probably grow up capable of murder. I’m sure these filmmakers could make anyone seem innocent. They’re really, really talented

Chris

My favorite part of that entire documentary was the reveal that Steve’s primary defense of his first rape charge was that he didn’t wear underwear

Q.C.

“I never rape without my underwear. That would be uncouth and, frankly, rude.”

Chris

“Your Honor, it couldn’t have been me. The suspect was said to be wearing tighty-whiteys and as you see here, I go all commando, baby.”

Q.C.

Samantha

HAHA – poor guy. In other news, have you two ever seen Jesus Camp?

Chris

YES

Q.C.

No :disappointed:

Chris

I lived Jesus Camp for 12 years, thank you

Samantha

Oh really? Were you in the documentary?

Q.C.

He’s the boy on the cover

Chris

Not the actual camp in the doc, but something incredibly similar. I went to private Christian school from K-8

Samantha

I didn’t realize that – and this is how you turned out?

Q.C.

No wonder you’re so fascinated by the occult

Chris

Totally. Yeah, Jesus camp didn’t really stick

Q.C.

That’s a real shame

Samantha

Why not?

Chris

But I saw people do the same stuff shown in the doc–speaking in tongues, being possessed by the Holy Spirit

Q.C.

Awesome. That sounds great. If I was to get possessed by any spirit, I would hope it would be THE holy one

Chris

Not to get too religious-centric, but I always thought it was odd that classmates would speak in tongues and convulse on the ground from the power of the Holy Spirit and then go do long division like 20 mins later. Like they weren’t just possessed by a spirit

Q.C.

Arithmetic is close to godliness

Chris

“I just had a life-changing spiritual moment. What’s 128 divided by 4?”

Q.C.

Hahahaha. Have y’all seen Dear Zachary?

Samantha

YES! Love that one – depressing

Chris

Great review

Q.C.

Yes! That’s such a juxtaposition, but so correct

Samantha

It’s the truth! I was SO mad when my friend told me I should watch that; I cried

Q.C.

I made me feel the most feelings of any documentary. I cried too

Samantha

That one is a crier

Q.C.

Y’all hear of this? https://freedocumentaries.org/ GREAT site

Chris

Dats wassup.

Samantha

What? This is amazing!

Chris

Have any of you seen the documentary that Dan Akroyd made about aliens? It’s…..a thing.

Q.C.

Hahahahahha well, I know what I’ll be doing the next hour or so

Chris

I saw a documentary about aliens with Dan Akroyd and thought, “Oh cool…a comedic take on one of my favorite subjects with one of the comedy greats.” Turns out, it is not funny AT ALL. It is VERY SERIOUS

Samantha

Yeah. He is no joke in that

Chris

You’ve seen it Sam?

Samantha

Yeah – I thought it was weird, haha

Q.C.

Ok, I can’t go any further without remarking on how fantastic each and every 30 for 30 is

Chris

YES! They are all amazing. I highly recommend everyone watch ‘30 for 30: Broke’. You will save all of your money. And re-think every purchase you’ve ever made

Q.C.

Yes! That one is fantastic!

Samantha

I haven’t seen that one

Chris

It’s about the lavish lifestyles of athletes and how the majority go broke within 3 years of being out of their respective leagues

Samantha

Oh that is intense

Chris

Come for the fun tales of lavish spending, stay for the depressing story about buying a Hummer H2 in cash instead of paying child support with your last ever NFL check

Q.C.

I like the ones that follow a particularly volatile personality like Randy Moss or Maurice Clarett. They make you think twice before judging anyone

Chris

My favorite is also The U

Q.C.

Love The U. The SMU one is good too—really, any of the ones that go into the shady stuff of college athletics are great

Chris

“The NCAA released a video about all the things you couldn’t do anymore. That sh*t was our highlight reel!” – Michael Irvin, ‘The U’.

Samantha

HAHA

Chris

‘30 for 30: War Eagle, Roll Tide’ is also amazing

Samantha

I have to check this out

Chris

An Alabama fan poisons a 100 year old tree over a college football rivalry. His excuse is, “I have too much ‘Bama in me”

Samantha

I so want to move to the South

Chris

To poison foliage over football rivalries? The USFL Documentary is also amazing, if you want to see an example of how future-President Donald Trump ruined a competitive football league.

Samantha

What business has Trump not attempted?

Chris

A successful one. BURN!

Q.C.

HEYOOOO!

Chris

IN YOUR FACE! BOOOOM!

Samantha

Wow there

Q.C.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_burn_centers_in_the_United_States

Chris

ROASTED. Find your nearest center, Donnie. Ya ass just got burnt

Samantha

All bad

Chris

How do you guys feel about Mockumentaries? I highly recommend any of the Christopher Guest movies

Q.C.

Like Paranormal Activity–or more comedic ones?

Chris

His latest, “Mascots”, is on Netflix and it is wonderful.

Samantha

Yes ‘Mascots’! Ahh ‘Best in Show’ is so good!

Q.C.

I never saw any of these! Time to add to the list!

Samantha

Good stuff though

Chris

Ok, let’s wrap this up: what’s everyone’s favorite documentary?

Samantha

Tough question – I may have to crazy on this one and say ‘March of the Penguins’!

Chris

Oh, that’s a great one

Q.C.

Mine is ‘Star Wars’

Samantha

I knew you were going to go there

Chris

Morgan Freeman could make paint drying sound captivating.

Samantha

Can there be a documentary on Morgan Freeman narrated by Morgan Freeman?

Q.C.

I would love that

Chris

My favorite documentary is probably ‘102 Minutes That Changed America’.

Q.C.

‘102 Minutes…’ is fantastic. Chilling

Chris

It’s about 9/11, goes minute-by-minute from the time the first plane hits till the towers fall, and is comprised entirely of non-news home videos.

Samantha

Wow

Chris

Currently available on the History Channel On-Demand, I believe. Also on the Internet somewhere. There’s a part after the second tower falls where a family is recording from their apartment a few blocks from the WTC. Their young child keeps asking what is happening and they have to assure them that everything is okay and to go in another room. When the child goes into the next room, the parents both break down audibly. At that point, someone began chopping an onion in my apartment.

Samantha

I think we have given people some great docs to go check out

Q.C.

Check out all 7 Star Wars documentaries about JFK’s push to beat Russia in the Cold War, narrated by Mark Hamill, Samuel L Jackson, & Daisy Ridley

Chris

In terms of super-duper conspiracy stuff though, you can’t go wrong with “Zeitgiest: The Movie”

Samantha

Every review has to mention a conspiracy, I am glad we got a couple in today

Chris

ARE YOU SAYING IT’S SOME KIND OF CONSPIRACY, SAM?

Samantha

Everything is as it appears

Chris

Well, that’s it for this week! See you guys next time

Q.C.

#TheEmpireDidNothingWrong