Colocation America Reviews: Fun Facts

fun facts
06.06.16
Albert

Chris     

THE FUNNEST OF FACTS aka TOPICS ARE RUNNING THIN, GUYS. Get your Google out because it’s time for the Colocation America Staff to review (not really) your favorite fun facts!

 

Q.C.     

Fun facts, eh? Neat

 

Samantha     

Do people have “fun facts” anymore thanks to Google? No one ever wonders anything anymore…

 

awesome fun facts

Photo Credit: tsk.com

Q.C.     

My mom does because she always forgets about Google

 

Chris     

Yeah, Google really ruined the whole bar argument

 

Q.C.     

What’s your favorite fun fact?

 

Samantha     

Hold up—what is considered a fun fact?

 

Q.C.     

Something where you’ll say, “Ah, that’s fun”

 

Chris     

When I was in college and trying to pick up girls, I would tell them that I played for a AAA minor league baseball team. Is that a fun fact? Now I can’t, because THANKS GOOGLE

 

Q.C.     

That is not a fact, but I’m sure it was rather fun

 

Chris     

So much fun

 

Samantha     

Yeah – my golf guy did that to me last year – he told everyone he played professional golf and, well, Google shot it down

 

Chris     

I also once told a girl I was a dolphin trainer despite living in supremely landlocked Pittsburgh, PA

 

Samantha     

Did that work?

 

Q.C.     

Nah man, those Three River Dolphins are some of the best dolphins around

 

Chris

Yeah, I trained those rare Monongahela River dolphins.

 

Q.C.     

Anne Frank and MLK were born in the same year—there’s a fun one

 

Samantha     

4-20 is Hitler’s birthday

 

Chris     

Here’s a good one: vending machines kill 4 times as many people as sharks per year

 

Q.C.     

Ok—which came first? The Aztecs or Oxford University

 

Chris     

Oxford!

 

Q.C.     

Indeed!

 

Samantha     

You are more likely to get in an “airplane crash” while taxiing then actually during flying PS – I have yet to use Google for any of these fun facts! Which also means I am not confirming these are true facts.

 

Q.C.     

“Statistically you’re more likely to die on the way to the airport” — Lloyd Christmas

lloyd christmas airport

Photo Credit: youtube.com

Chris     

Here’s a mind-blowing fun fact: the brain named itself and psychology is the brain trying to understand itself

 

Samantha     

I love that one!

 

Q.C.     

I’m pretty sure we’ve been to the moon and back before the Cubs made it back to a World Series. Which seems a lot harder than a 1 in 15 chance

 

Samantha     

Oh here’s a good one: there is no crying in baseball.

 

Chris     

Speaking of the moon, a TI-83 calculator has six times more processing power than the computer that put Apollo 11 on the moon

 

Q.C.     

We went there on a flying toaster. LOOK IT UP

 

Chris     

This is true. It was a very brave toaster, as well

 

Q.C.     

The bravest, some might say

 

Samantha     

Love that movie – I think Netflix or was it Hulu Plus just added it

 

Chris     

Are any of you left-handed?

 

Q.C.     

No. I’m not some FREAK

 

Samantha  

Nope!

 

Chris     

Well, good–because more than 2500 left-handed people die from using things meant for right-handed people each year

 

Q.C.     

Hmmm now that’s pretty interesting

 

Chris     

Right? Never run with right-handed scissors

 

Samantha     

Speaking of dying – the designer of the unsinkable Titanic died on the Titanic

 

Chris     

That’s true! He wanted to add more lifeboats and other sink-preventing measures and they totally denied him.

 

Samantha     

Yep!

 

Chris     

If I were him, I’d be running around screaming, “I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!”

 

Samantha     

And not help anyone get off?

 

Q.C.     

Pft, I wouldn’t help at all

 

Chris     

No. I wanted to add more lifeboats. They said no. F them

 

Samantha     

Remind me to not be in a life or death situation with you

 

Chris

The average human has anywhere between 2 to 9 pounds of bacteria in their body

 

Samantha   

We shed every night, too

 

Chris     

We are literally scumbags

 

Q.C.     

16 pennies stacked = 1 inch. 16 pennies in a line = 1 foot

magic pennies

Photo Credit: reddit.com

Samantha     

Oh the penny one is a good one!

 

Chris     

Woah, no way

 

Samantha     

I need to up my fun fact game. Here is a fun fact: the fun fact book I bought like 20 years ago is still being sold at Barnes and Noble (as of Saturday night when I was there…)

 

Chris     

Fun fact: Barnes and Noble is still a thing

 

Q.C.     

Octopuses (yes, it’s octopuses) have 6 arms and 2 legs, not 8 legs. TAKE THAT SCIENTISTS

 

Chris     

The total weight of all the ants on Earth is greater than the total weight of all the humans on Earth

 

Samantha     

Gross

 

Chris     

That’s a lot of ants

 

Q.C.     

A deer can jump higher than the average house

 

Samantha     

Are you two reviewing animals now?

 

Chris     

No, just spewing facts, bruh

 

Q.C.     

No, i’m just saying the deer has very strong back legs and a house can’t jump at all, therefore, a deer can jump higher than the average house. IT’S JUST SCIENCE

 

Samantha     

Well at least 6 Americans have been accidentally shot by dogs in the past 5 years

 

Chris     

Dogs are taking over

 

Q.C.     

“Accidentally”

 

Samantha     

It’s not the apes, it’s the dogs we need to worry about

 

Chris     

In 2008, there was a survey that resulted in 58% of British teens believing Sherlock Holmes was real, while 20% believed Winston Churchill was not real. I imagine that Venn Diagram overlaps significantly.

 

Samantha     

I love Churchill!

 

Q.C.     

22% thought he was the same person

 

Samantha     

Speaking of craziness in politics and law – a lawyer in New York tried to settle a civil suit by invoking his right to trial by combat (edited)

 

Q.C.     

That’s amazing

 

Samantha     

Oh and that was in 2015

 

Q.C.     

Was he granted it?

 

Chris     

I would love to see that

 

Samantha     

It is the true American way

 

Chris     

The Wright Brothers first flew in 1903, 66 years later we were on the moon

 

Samantha     

Again, the American way

 

Chris     

USA USA USA!

 

Q.C.     

50 years later, we’ll be on MARS

 

Chris     

USA USA USA!

 

Samantha     

Speaking of the outer space – Jimmy Carter promised to release all government UFO info when elected…clearly he lied.

 

Chris

THE TRUTH IS STILL OUT THERE.

 

Q.C.     

Hillary is claiming to make public the records of the goings-on of Area 51

 

Chris     

This is true

 

Q.C.     

But we all know the best aliens are from the Trump Tower Grill. I love the extraterrestrial!

 

Chris     

The popular video game Duck Hunt is actually a 2 player game. Player 2 controls the ducks

duck hunt dog

Photo Credit: mob.org

Samantha

I hated that dog.

 

Q.C.

Everyone did, Sam. That smug bastard.

 

Chris     

There are more fake flamingos than there are real flamingos

 

Q.C.     

The sun accounts for 99.86% of the solar systems’ mass

sun accounts for most of the mass

Photo Credit: relfe.com

Chris     

Martin Sheen’s real name was Ramon Estevez. So Charlie Sheen changed his name to capitalize on his dad’s changed name. And that’s how you get AIDS

 

Q.C.     

Hahahahha too bad they aren’t German. 1% of the German population is immune to AIDS

 

Chris     

Woah wait…Germans are immune to AIDS?

 

Q.C.     

Some of them

 

Samantha     

Interesting. That is good news for me and my German-ness

 

Q.C.     

…Were you planning on getting AIDS?

 

Samantha     

Oh, people

 

Chris

Earth would be the size of a baseball if there were not space in between its atoms

 

Samantha     

How do you know we are not already the size of a baseball?

 

Q.C.     

Ooooooooooooooh Sam just got all SCIENCEY up in here. Quantum physics, yo! String theory, b*tches!

 

Chris     

The largest air force in the world is the US Air Force. The second largest air force in the world is the US Navy.

 

Q.C.     

eagle saluting america

Photo Credit: xamuel.com

 

Samantha     

Creepy!

 

Q.C.     

majestic eagle

Photo Credit: chacha.com

 

Chris     

If you shave a bald eagles wings, there’s a fully functional male arm underneath it. No one denies this.

 

Samantha     

Oh here is a new one! Bison is the US National Mammal. Like as of 2 weeks ago

 

Chris     

That’s awesome! Did you know the population of Ireland is still 2 million less than it was before the potato famine, 160 years ago?

 

Q.C.     

That’s because they ate their babies to stave off the famine!

 

Samantha     

Oh no!

 

Chris     

If you keep going North, you will eventually go South. If you keep going East, you will never go West.

 

Q.C.     

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Modest_Proposal

 

Samantha     

Fun Fact of the Day: My dog just killed my new bracelet in the middle of this review.

 

Q.C.     

When the oldest person on Earth was born, there was a completely different set of people on Earth. Every single one of them

 

Samantha     

How does that make sense?

 

Q.C.     

Because he’s the oldest person, so when he was born, there was an entirely different set of people, no overlapping

 

Chris     

100+ years is a long-ass time

 

Q.C.     

There are more lakes in Canada than the rest of the world combined.

 

Samantha     

Do you know what the word is for the day after tomorrow? “Overmorrow”

 

Q.C.

I did know that!

 

Chris

Definitely going to start using “overmorrow”.

 

Q.C.     

One million seconds is a little over 11 days. One billion seconds is over 31 years. Everyone knows a billion is a 1000 million, but the size difference is still difficult to conceptualize

 

Samantha     

Q – Did you just do that math in your head? And do not lie – 60% of people can’t have a 10-minutes conversation without lying at least once

 

Q.C.     

Uhhhhhh. I sure didn’t do that math in my head, but I was going to lie about it

 

Samantha     

Naw, lies.

 

Q.C.   

The “L” in Samuel L Jackson stands for “Motherf****r.”

 

Chris

That’s true. It’s on his driver’s license.

  

Samantha

Are you having a soda right now? Apparently 600 ml of soda a day ages a person the same rate as smoking! Once again, I cannot confirm the source of any of these facts but I am genius and do not lie so they must be true

 

Q.C.     

What about zero-calorie sodas? Marketing genius’s way to get me

 

Chris     

Zero-calorie sodas are literally acid. Don’t quote me on that

 

Q.C.     

I’m ok with that

 

Samantha     

Have you ever seen what Coke does to a nail?

 

Q.C.     

I have. Again, I’m tougher than nails, so….

 

Chris     

Have you seen what I do to a Coke?

 

Samantha     

Ew?

 

Chris     

IT’S NOT PRETTY BUT IT’S WHAT I DO, SAM

 

Q.C.     

Macaulay Culkin and Ryan Gosling are the same age

 

Chris     

No way. Macaulay Culkin looks 70. That guy has not aged well for someone who used to date Mila Kunis, whom I only assume is a living Fountain of Youth.

 

Samantha     

Speaking of celebrities – do you know the movie Teen Witch?

 

Q.C.     

Yes

 

Samantha     

The main girl in it is Blake Lively’s sister!

 

Q.C.     

Oh my. Intersting

 

Samantha     

This is real – they look the same!

 

Q.C.     

Here’s more math, Sam:

 

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

 

Chris     

Okay everyone, one more fun fact from each of you before we go

 

Q.C.     

Alright: Kangaroos have three vaginas and two uteri. They can be perpetually pregnant. And I’m out

 

Samantha     

There is a museum of Failed Products in Ann Arbor, MI. It contains products that tanked within months of their release. Like Toaster Eggs? Cause that seems stupid

 

Q.C.     

I’d argue Ann Arbor, MI is a failed product….

 

Chris     

We were talking about the awesomness of the USA earlier, but it was founded on getting totally sloshed. The delegates at the Constitutional Convention spent their time getting hammered drunk. One document from the convention is a bill for a party on September 15, 1787, two days before signing the Constitution. They tallied up 54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, 8 bottle of whiskey, 8 bottles of cider, 12 bottles of beer, and 7 bowls of alcoholic punch. This was for 55 people.

 

Samantha     

Ah, no wonder my people moved here

 

Q.C.     

OH MAN WE’RE AWESOME! TAKE THAT YOU REDCOAT BASTARDS!

 

Chris

USA USA USA USA USA!!!!!

 

Samantha     

And scene

 

Chris  

That’s it for this week–thanks!

*Main photo credit: tsk.com

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