From smarter cities to faster emergency response, recent technological advances are contributing to a safer, more connected world. However, the hardware and software systems that are changing our lives almost every day are also consuming an abundance of resources and leaving behind their fair share of waste in the process.

So while devices may be getting more energy-efficient, constant upgrades that push consumers to discard old electronics in favor of the next big thing can have a deleterious impact on the environment. Up to 50 million tons of techno trash is thrown away every year, amounting to roughly five percent of the world’s solid waste. What’s more, only 11 percent of the mobile devices discarded in 2010 were collected for recycling.

Technology may be the genesis of this cycle of consumption, but it’s also the key to solving it. Encouragingly, researchers and industry innovators are developing a range of solutions aimed at making the next generation of technology more sustainable and environmentally friendly. Everything from the Internet of Disposable Things (IoDT) to modular cell phones to data center waste heat recycling promise to cement our technological gains while minimizing the carbon footprint of our hardware and software.

The Internet of Disposable Things

Research suggests that the total installed base of devices connected to the Internet of Things (IoT) will surpass 75 billion by 2025. While the IoT has the potential to transform industries as varied as healthcare and manufacturing, bringing this many devices online will require an abundance of resources. Currently, IoT devices are constructed using microelectromechanical systems and rely on silicon chips to house sensors, channels, and other microscopic structures.

Credit: ieee.org

This model may have been economically feasible during the dawn of the IoT, but it will be costly for the full range of everyday IoT use cases that will come to shape our daily lives in the future. That’s why Seokheun Choi, an associate professor of electrical and computer engineering at Binghamton University, is pioneering the development of paper-based biobatteries for single-use, low-power systems. These biobatteries are powered by bacteria that consume the batteries at the end of their lifespan, at which point consumers can throw them away.

Choi’s biobatteries may play a pivotal role in the evolution of the IoDT. This IoT offshoot may one day include everything from sensors on food packaging that tell consumers when items have expired to disposable cardboard boxes that take package tracking to the next level. By creating environmentally friendly, biodegradable batteries—as opposed to the current chemically hazardous alternatives—Choi and his team are paving the way for a more sustainable IoT.

Modular and Recyclable Cell Phones

While technological disruption has fostered a culture that prizes innovation, it has also created a market that prioritizes the latest and greatest. The urge to upgrade your devices—smartphones in particular—has contributed to the rise of techno trash as the fastest-growing type of waste in most countries around the world.

Credit: inhabitat.com

Modular and recyclable cell phones are designed to reverse this disturbing trend. With companies like Fairphone racing to meet the demand for more sustainable devices, more and more consumers will have the option of using phones with longer shelf lives. Nearly every part of a Fairphone is recyclable, and its modular design enables consumers to replace broken or outdated cameras, screens, batteries, and more without having to purchase an entirely new device. This flexibility extends the lifespan of a Fairphone far beyond the typical lifespan of mass-market smartphones.

By doing so, Fairphone is helping reduce the enormous waste that is currently being created by the most popular smartphones. Instead of throwing away phones every two years in favor of the newest upgrade, modular devices may be able to encourage consumers to adopt a more environmentally friendly approach to device ownership.

Data Center Waste Heat Recycling

For data center professionals, waste heat is unavoidable. Computers—especially those performing at the highest levels—generate excess heat as a byproduct of the intensive processes modern companies demand. In the past, experts have tried to use innovative cooling methods to prevent data centers from overheating, and some have even created systems that repurpose this heat to warm nearby homes, businesses, and community facilities.

Credit: researchgate.net

However, new research may offer an even more efficient option for data centers. A team at Rice University has been using arrays of single-wall carbon nanotubes to absorb heat, turn it into an easily capturable bandwidth, release it as light, and convert it back into electricity. Considering waste heat making up 20 percent of industrial energy consumption, if these nanotubes can prevent such heat from escaping unused, it will be a landmark development in energy efficiency—particularly in the data center space.

While channeling waste heat to benefit nearby homes and businesses is a smart way to put excess heat to good use, funneling that energy back into data centers to make them more efficient will solve the problem at the source. With data centers taking on an increasingly central role in corporate operations as technologies like cloud computing become a given, these nanotubes could be a game-changer.

Boosting Efficiency with Colocation

While the innovations outlined above promise to change the way we handle techno trash and wasteful energy consumption, stakeholders throughout the tech space need to help mitigate these issues sooner rather than later. For many companies, this will mean being strategic about their technological footprints—i.e., only investing in the network, storage, and compute resources that they need.

Server colocation can help organizations of every stripe improve their environmental friendliness by right-sizing their data center infrastructure. By taking advantage of smaller-scale offerings such as Colocation America’s 1U and 2U space, companies will only need to commit to the server infrastructure that their operations truly demand, knowing that they can scale up as needed without missing a beat.

The post 3 Creative Ways the Tech World Is Striving for Sustainability appeared first on Colocation America.

From wildfires in California to hurricanes on the Gulf Coast, natural disasters have had an indelible impact on countless American communities over the course of the last year. What’s more, once the wall-to-wall news coverage subsides and their plight fades from public consciousness, victims of tragedies like these must contend with a long, challenging journey to rebuild their communities.

As is the case for individuals and families, getting up and running in the wake of a disaster can be incredibly daunting for many businesses. With the Federal Emergency Management Agency reporting that 40 percent of small businesses never fully recover from natural disasters, planning for the worst is, in fact, best practice. While no amount of foresight can prevent hurricanes, wildfires, or earthquakes from impacting your company, drafting a disaster recovery plan—and knowing how to enact it—can be the difference between shuttering your doors for good and reopening them in a matter of weeks.

Despite this reality, only 25 percent of small businesses have a business continuity plan in place. Granted, business continuity and disaster recovery aren’t one and the same, but the fact of the matter is that preparing (and refining) a disaster recovery plan is a must—especially when it comes to protecting critical IT infrastructure.

As businesses grow increasingly reliant on high-performing networks and sprawling datasets to deliver value to clients, IT protection has become an outsized component in many disaster recovery plans. If you and your team are preparing to draft a plan of your own, make sure you carefully consider the following eight steps. https://www.youtube.com/embed/JcSpjHKxJYY

1. Determine the Scope of Your Project

First, you need to understand what your end goal is. If you’re a company that’s completely dependent on quick and easy access to your data to stay in business, your IT disaster recovery plan should focus on ensuring your proprietary information is kept safe and secure—even if your onsite hardware experiences critical failures. For most small and mid-sized businesses, this means exploring offsite data storage options like public cloud storage and/or data center colocation.

2. Consider Your IT Vulnerabilities

After articulating your end goal, you need to develop a comprehensive understanding of your most glaring vulnerabilities, paying particular attention to the historical disaster risks in your geographic region. While the best disaster recovery plans aim to protect as many assets as possible, you’ll likely have to make difficult prioritizing decisions in order to ensure that the most important facets of your business aren’t at risk.

If, for example, your number one concern is your onsite hardware and the most common natural disaster in your area is flooding, protecting your hardware from water damage—and having contingency plans in place in the event these protections fail—is of paramount importance.

3. Conduct Risk Analysis

At this juncture, you should already know what your vulnerabilities are and have put safeguards in place to counteract them, but you might not know exactly how these safeguards will respond in a crisis. This is when risk analysis comes into play.

Conducting a thorough risk analysis is tantamount to performing a “stress test” designed to help you understand precisely how vulnerable you are given your current counter-disaster infrastructure. By gaining this perspective, you’ll be better positioned to protect your most valuable assets.

4. Identify Recovery Strategies

After stress testing your safeguards, the next move is to identify the most efficient and cost-effective recovery strategies. Ideally, this calculus will take account of both your most pressing IT vulnerabilities and the performance of your safeguards during your risk analysis.

If, for instance, you’ve determined that your onsite data storage is your greatest vulnerability, you should map out the most efficient way to migrate data stored in a public cloud or colocation center back into your system after disaster strikes.

5. Draw up a Plan

At this point, you’re ready to begin assembling your IT disaster recovery plan in earnest. This will involve collecting the insights you’ve gathered and codifying them in an easy-to-understand, sequential guide.

For example, if you’ve opted to entrust a public cloud provider with the storage and management of your data, your disaster recovery plan should clearly lay out the steps that need to be taken to contact the provider and get your IT environment back online after a critical systems failure.

6. Test Your Disaster Recovery Plan

Drawing up an IT disaster recovery plan is a step in the right direction—and, as illustrated above, probably puts you ahead of many of your competitors—but once you think you have everything in place, it’s important to test your plan to ensure that each step unfolds as intended. After all, the best time to figure out that your recovery plan needs work is before disaster strikes—not after.

7. Train Team Members

Once you’re confident in your plan, it’s time to introduce it to your team. Ideally, you’ve been consulting with key personnel throughout the previous six steps, but regardless of the degree of collaboration in your planning process, it’s incumbent on you to ensure that everyone in your organization knows what will happen in the event of a flood, hurricane, wildfire, or any other catastrophe.

In fact, bringing your employees into the loop is a great way to get your plan vetted by people with diverse perspectives, who may be able to spot something you’ve overlooked.

8. Update and Revise Your Plan

f course, while we all hope we never have to put our IT disaster recovery plan into action, it’s worthwhile to regularly revisit and, if necessary, revise your plan. Does it still make sense in light of changes to your operations?

Have vendors introduced any new products or services that you want to incorporate into your recovery plan? By asking these kinds of questions, you can update your plan as needed—and be sure you’re prepared if and when the next natural disaster strikes.

The post The 8-Step IT Disaster Recovery Plan appeared first on Colocation America.

Welcome back! It’s time once again for another Colocation America Reviews–this time, we take a look at our favorite documentaries. Because learning is fun only in movie form. First off, how is everyone doing?

Samantha

Great!

Chris

I feel like we haven’t talked in awhile even though we are literally in the same office

Samantha

Sorry, I was trying to see if I can spell feen – or whatever that slang term is

Chris

Feen? The hell is feen?

Samantha

Yeah – it’s slang but not the slang term I wanted

Chris

Slang for what?

Samantha

I wanted to say, essentially, I’m a documentary junkie

Chris

Should we change this into a slang review?

Q.C.

Ooo please! Let’s do slang. I love slang.

Chris

That might be in the pipeline now.

Q.C.

Now what does a Documentary junkie get off on?

Samantha

Great documentaries, duh

Chris

Oh ok, that narrows it down.

Q.C.

But like… any type of documentaries?

Chris

Yeah, let’s start with that–what’s everyone’s favorite genre or type of documentary?

Q.C.

True Crime

Samantha

Personally, I dig any documentary but I have to go with World War II docs. That is super narrow

Chris

Like the kind that the History Channel used to show constantly before they started on aliens?

Q.C.

Besides “Band of Brothers” what is your favorite WWII documentary?

Chris

My favorite is the Tom Hanks documentary ‘Saving Private Ryan’. I didn’t know Hanks was in WWII

Samantha

Every comment I was going to make after that is done – I thought Forest Gump was a documentary, then wasn’t Hanks in the Vietnam War too?

Photo credit: aceshowbiz.com

Q.C.

You didn’t? I think that’s all the evidence you need

Chris

That’s the worst picture of anyone I’ve ever seen

Samantha

That scary hair! Halloween came early

Chris

Sam’s right–it’s like someone is wearing a Tom Hanks mask

Q.C.

You didn’t know how Sully became so good at water landings? He practiced in Pearl Harbor. Everyone else crashed. He didn’t

Chris

Ok, Sam–favorite WWII documentary?

Samantha

Well the most recent one I saw was on two sons of Nazi officers and how they deal with being the son of killers. Or rather what they felt about their Dads

Chris

What’s it called and where can you find it?

Samantha

Netflix but for the name, I need to login to my account and like everyone else in the world, I forgot my password

Chris

Perfect. I’m also a pretty big history buff, so those WWII docs are right up my alley–especially when it crosses with paranormal and you get stuff like Hitler and the Occult type stuff. I’m a sucker for anything that pertains to the paranormal or conspiracies

Samantha

Got it! Winner is: My Nazi Legacy

Chris

Oh, nice

Samantha

Thank you Google (Netflix fail)

Chris

That sounds like a sitcom on ABC. “My Nazi Legacy”, Mondays at 8pm on ABC. Followed by “Sh*t My Hitler Says” at 9

Samantha

Yeah – rough! Speaking of Netflix though, their documentaries are awesome. I have been meaning to watch 13th

Chris

SO GOOD

Samantha

Is it?!

Chris

I watched it the other day and it’s amazing

Samantha

Ok – I will watch it!

Chris

Very eye opening, especially dealing with how they frame the idea of the prison system as modern day slavery

Q.C.

Another Netflix one y’all should check out is “Amanda Knox”

Samantha

So good – I watched that one!

Q.C.

Yes! Not many come from the horse’s mouth, but this one did and it landed

Samantha

So is Foxy Knoxy (or whatever they called her), crazy?

Q.C.

Ummmm I don’t know. I think she got a bad rap because everyone thought she was a slut for buying lingerie

Samantha

Agreed – I support her!

Chris

She’s in prison still, right?

Q.C.

No, she’s living in Seattle

Chris

Ahhh, America’s prison.

Q.C.

Yeah, basically

Samantha

She got out, came back to the US, and was still on trial

Chris

(Just kidding, Seattle. You’re lovely and I hope to visit your gloomy city soon)

Q.C.

Italy does that whole you have to prove your innocence thing

Chris

Guilty until proven innocent?

Q.C.

and the USA was like, “NAWWWW Y’ALL TRIPPIN’”. I, personally, don’t think she did anything.

Chris

Hahahah was that the official statement from the US?

Q.C.

Yes it was. However, I can’t speak for her former boyfriend, though.

Chris

Because he’s dead?

Samantha

My favorite part in that documentary was when the Italian police/crew were all like “we have been doing law before you were born, America”

Q.C.

Photo credit: drawception.com

HAHAHAHHA. So stupid. Let’s go, Italy! Let’s roll. Let’s law it up

Samantha

I mean they have a point. Then again, America is always right, right?

Chris

Yes, we are.

Q.C.

Always

Chris

ALWAYS

Q.C.

More right than Italy, that’s for sure

Samantha

We are right even when the evidence says otherwise

Q.C.

When Italy is concerned, yes

Samantha

But in this case, we were right

Q.C.

We were protecting our own. These colors don’t run and we protect our own

Chris

Speaking of being right even when evidence says otherwise–what did everyone think about ‘Making A Murderer’?

Samantha

He was set up

Q.C.

Loved it. I thought it was brilliant film makers making their point brilliantly

Chris

So much for my “FREE BRENDAN DASSEY” t-shirts.

Samantha

And poor kid who just wanted to leave and would say anything to do so

Q.C.

He just wants to watch Wrestlemania

Chris

Free to watch all the WrestleMania’s in the world. I felt bad for Brendan, but Steve totally did that sh*t.

Samantha

He was the real victim here (well and the unfortunate lady)

Q.C.

Listen, if you throw cats into fire for fun… you probably grow up capable of murder. I’m sure these filmmakers could make anyone seem innocent. They’re really, really talented

Chris

My favorite part of that entire documentary was the reveal that Steve’s primary defense of his first rape charge was that he didn’t wear underwear

Q.C.

“I never rape without my underwear. That would be uncouth and, frankly, rude.”

Chris

“Your Honor, it couldn’t have been me. The suspect was said to be wearing tighty-whiteys and as you see here, I go all commando, baby.”

Q.C.

Samantha

HAHA – poor guy. In other news, have you two ever seen Jesus Camp?

Chris

YES

Q.C.

No :disappointed:

Chris

I lived Jesus Camp for 12 years, thank you

Samantha

Oh really? Were you in the documentary?

Q.C.

He’s the boy on the cover

Chris

Not the actual camp in the doc, but something incredibly similar. I went to private Christian school from K-8

Samantha

I didn’t realize that – and this is how you turned out?

Q.C.

No wonder you’re so fascinated by the occult

Chris

Totally. Yeah, Jesus camp didn’t really stick

Q.C.

That’s a real shame

Samantha

Why not?

Chris

But I saw people do the same stuff shown in the doc–speaking in tongues, being possessed by the Holy Spirit

Q.C.

Awesome. That sounds great. If I was to get possessed by any spirit, I would hope it would be THE holy one

Chris

Not to get too religious-centric, but I always thought it was odd that classmates would speak in tongues and convulse on the ground from the power of the Holy Spirit and then go do long division like 20 mins later. Like they weren’t just possessed by a spirit

Q.C.

Arithmetic is close to godliness

Chris

“I just had a life-changing spiritual moment. What’s 128 divided by 4?”

Q.C.

Hahahaha. Have y’all seen Dear Zachary?

Samantha

YES! Love that one – depressing

Chris

Great review

Q.C.

Yes! That’s such a juxtaposition, but so correct

Samantha

It’s the truth! I was SO mad when my friend told me I should watch that; I cried

Q.C.

I made me feel the most feelings of any documentary. I cried too

Samantha

That one is a crier

Q.C.

Y’all hear of this? https://freedocumentaries.org/ GREAT site

Chris

Dats wassup.

Samantha

What? This is amazing!

Chris

Have any of you seen the documentary that Dan Akroyd made about aliens? It’s…..a thing.

Q.C.

Hahahahahha well, I know what I’ll be doing the next hour or so

Chris

I saw a documentary about aliens with Dan Akroyd and thought, “Oh cool…a comedic take on one of my favorite subjects with one of the comedy greats.” Turns out, it is not funny AT ALL. It is VERY SERIOUS

Samantha

Yeah. He is no joke in that

Chris

You’ve seen it Sam?

Samantha

Yeah – I thought it was weird, haha

Q.C.

Ok, I can’t go any further without remarking on how fantastic each and every 30 for 30 is

Chris

YES! They are all amazing. I highly recommend everyone watch ‘30 for 30: Broke’. You will save all of your money. And re-think every purchase you’ve ever made

Q.C.

Yes! That one is fantastic!

Samantha

I haven’t seen that one

Chris

It’s about the lavish lifestyles of athletes and how the majority go broke within 3 years of being out of their respective leagues

Samantha

Oh that is intense

Chris

Come for the fun tales of lavish spending, stay for the depressing story about buying a Hummer H2 in cash instead of paying child support with your last ever NFL check

Q.C.

I like the ones that follow a particularly volatile personality like Randy Moss or Maurice Clarett. They make you think twice before judging anyone

Chris

My favorite is also The U

Q.C.

Love The U. The SMU one is good too—really, any of the ones that go into the shady stuff of college athletics are great

Chris

“The NCAA released a video about all the things you couldn’t do anymore. That sh*t was our highlight reel!” – Michael Irvin, ‘The U’.

Samantha

HAHA

Chris

‘30 for 30: War Eagle, Roll Tide’ is also amazing

Samantha

I have to check this out

Chris

An Alabama fan poisons a 100 year old tree over a college football rivalry. His excuse is, “I have too much ‘Bama in me”

Samantha

I so want to move to the South

Chris

To poison foliage over football rivalries? The USFL Documentary is also amazing, if you want to see an example of how future-President Donald Trump ruined a competitive football league.

Samantha

What business has Trump not attempted?

Chris

A successful one. BURN!

Q.C.

HEYOOOO!

Chris

IN YOUR FACE! BOOOOM!

Samantha

Wow there

Q.C.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_burn_centers_in_the_United_States

Chris

ROASTED. Find your nearest center, Donnie. Ya ass just got burnt

Samantha

All bad

Chris

How do you guys feel about Mockumentaries? I highly recommend any of the Christopher Guest movies

Q.C.

Like Paranormal Activity–or more comedic ones?

Chris

His latest, “Mascots”, is on Netflix and it is wonderful.

Samantha

Yes ‘Mascots’! Ahh ‘Best in Show’ is so good!

Q.C.

I never saw any of these! Time to add to the list!

Samantha

Good stuff though

Chris

Ok, let’s wrap this up: what’s everyone’s favorite documentary?

Samantha

Tough question – I may have to crazy on this one and say ‘March of the Penguins’!

Chris

Oh, that’s a great one

Q.C.

Mine is ‘Star Wars’

Samantha

I knew you were going to go there

Chris

Morgan Freeman could make paint drying sound captivating.

Samantha

Can there be a documentary on Morgan Freeman narrated by Morgan Freeman?

Q.C.

I would love that

Chris

My favorite documentary is probably ‘102 Minutes That Changed America’.

Q.C.

‘102 Minutes…’ is fantastic. Chilling

Chris

It’s about 9/11, goes minute-by-minute from the time the first plane hits till the towers fall, and is comprised entirely of non-news home videos.

Samantha

Wow

Chris

Currently available on the History Channel On-Demand, I believe. Also on the Internet somewhere. There’s a part after the second tower falls where a family is recording from their apartment a few blocks from the WTC. Their young child keeps asking what is happening and they have to assure them that everything is okay and to go in another room. When the child goes into the next room, the parents both break down audibly. At that point, someone began chopping an onion in my apartment.

Samantha

I think we have given people some great docs to go check out

Q.C.

Check out all 7 Star Wars documentaries about JFK’s push to beat Russia in the Cold War, narrated by Mark Hamill, Samuel L Jackson, & Daisy Ridley

Chris

In terms of super-duper conspiracy stuff though, you can’t go wrong with “Zeitgiest: The Movie”

Samantha

Every review has to mention a conspiracy, I am glad we got a couple in today

Chris

ARE YOU SAYING IT’S SOME KIND OF CONSPIRACY, SAM?

Samantha

Everything is as it appears

Chris

Well, that’s it for this week! See you guys next time

Q.C.

#TheEmpireDidNothingWrong

The post Colocation America Reviews: Documentaries appeared first on Colocation America.

Since then, Tesla has become a leader in the automotive industry. While they were not the first company to make an electric car, they were the first to build a large consumer base that was willing to spend the extra money for a new technology. Tesla was also not the first company to design a driverless car, but they were the first to focus on using big data to their advantage.

Tesla has made it a policy to log all the data they could from their customers, which is all sent to the cloud to be analyzed with algorithms and software. All of the data they gathered helped them to grow as a company, and become a contender in the automotive industry.

How Tesla Drives Over the Air

In October of 2014, Tesla offered the customers who bought the new sedan model an optional “technology package” for an additional $4,250. It included cameras and sensors that warned the driver about collisions before they happened, but customers didn’t know that Tesla was also using those sensors to gather data from the drivers as well.

After a year of gathering data, in October 2015, these car owners received an Over the Air (OTA) update which gave each of their 60,000 sedans the ability to drive themselves. There was no need to bring any cars into the dealership or even to a mechanic. In fact, there was no need for any human intervention at all. The drivers did not even know their cars could be updated with an autopilot function before it happened.

And, when there was a problem with their cars overheating in 2014, Tesla sent out another OTA to 30,000 owners that automatically reduced the power fluctuations, which had caused the cars to overheat in the first place.

Using their data to respond to issues is what makes Tesla such a unique company. Tesla confirms their differences in a statement by the company, “Tesla is a software company as much as it is a hardware company. That’s a huge part of what Tesla is. It’s the same way you’re updating your phone or laptop: People have come to take it to be normal that your phone and laptop will keep improving.”

With their data-center-driven cars, Tesla can track every car from their data centers, and see exactly when every car implements new software, so they can be sure that a problem has been fixed, unlike cars that need to be recalled en-mass. This means that Tesla might have put an end to the recall for their cars, or as the corporation tweeted, “the term “recall” is outdated. No vehicles are being physically recalled by Tesla.”

(1/2) The term “recall” is outdated. No vehicles are being physically recalled by Tesla. — Tesla (@TeslaMotors) January 14, 2014

Customer Satisfaction in the Driver’s Seat

Tesla also uses big data to improve customer satisfaction. With near-real time information, the corporate office can anticipate and correct problems before they happen. And Tesla does not stop there. They also gather data from online forums, which they host for customers to complain about their cars. They use this data to make improvements to the next car.

This is very different from other companies, which do not have this kind of relationship with their customers. Most companies either do not know how to use the data they have or else they do everything they can to ignore customer complaints. Tesla, on the other hand, has a much more understanding relationship with their customers from the data they gather.

How Tesla Maps the Road Through Big Data

Tesla claims they have gathered data from over 100 million miles with the autopilot software. Now, Tesla gathers so much data, that it logs more miles in a single day than all the miles Google logged with its driverless car program since it began in 2009.

All this data has been compiled in the cloud to generate road maps for driverless cars that are 100 times more accurate than standard navigation systems. These maps record where cars have slowed down for traffic or swerved around obstacles that might not be obvious to the cameras on another driverless car.

With these big data maps, Tesla claims that their cars know the road so well that, “the car should almost always hit the brakes correctly even if a UFO were to land on the freeway in zero-visibility conditions.”

Tesla has said that the data in these maps might eventually be sold to other car companies, or it could even be uploaded into the cloud, where the government could use the data to make roads safer for all drivers.

How Susceptible to Hacking are Tesla Cars?

All of these sensors and updates help make a safer car, but they can also present an opportunity for hackers. In order to demonstrate Tesla’s security flaws, the Keen Security Lab hacked into a Tesla and was able to take over the vehicle’s brakes, the side mirrors, the windshield wipers and the trunk, all while the car was driving at a distance from the hackers. They were also able to open the sunroof, control the vehicle’s lights and unlock the doors while the car was stopped. https://www.youtube.com/embed/lZBSh2fPAHk

This can obviously present a major safety issue, but it is not the first time that a car was able to be remotely controlled by hackers: BMWs, Jeeps, Escalades, Fords, even the Toyota Prius are all susceptible to hacks. Almost any car that has a connection to the internet can be hacked in one way or another. The difference is, these other cars have to be taken to the dealership after being hacked, whereas a Tesla can automatically update software patches to all of their cars before being hacked.

In fact, just ten days after the Chinese security team hacked into the Tesla, Tesla was able to patch the problem for all the cars that would be affected. The update also added a cryptographic key to prevent future attacks. So, any hackers that are looking to get into a Tesla in the future must obtain one of these cryptographic keys, which only Tesla possess.

How Tesla Uses Deep Learning

Tesla has recently partnered with NVIDIA and is using their deep learning technology to improve their car’s ability to learn from their own data, and deal with new data sets that it has never been taught to deal with. “In contrast to the usual approach to operating self-driving cars,” NVIDIA has stated, “we did not program any explicit object detection, mapping, path planning or control components into this car. Instead, the car learns on its own to create all necessary internal representations necessary to steer, simply by observing human drivers.”

Deep learning will help Tesla vehicles see in poor visibility, and respond to a child that jumps in front of your car too quickly, without needing to be programmed to do so.

What Is the Future of Tesla and Driverless Cars?

Will all of these cars sending big data to the cloud, soon they will be able to share that data with all the other Tesla cars on the road, Elon Musk sees a future where:

“When one car learns something, they all learn it.”

Since Tesla has decided to use big data to learn from their cars, it is no wonder they made their cars learn from this data as well. Becoming a data-driven car company may just prove their original argument that electric cars are indeed better than their gasoline-powered counterparts.

The post How Big Data Drives Tesla appeared first on Colocation America.

We’re in the thick of the 2016 Presidential Election, with the first Presidential debate happening on Monday. So let’s talk Presidents! First off, if I could sum up my politics in one sentence, it’d be from Nas: “I’m out for dead presidents to represent me.” C.R.E.A.M. Dolla dolla bills y’all

Samantha      

Presidents? What are those?

Q.C.      

I would like to endorse who could have been the best president ever: Alexander Hamilton

Chris      

It was amazing that he was able to get so much done while communicating only in song

Q.C.      

But anyways, let’s start by saying who we’re voting for in this upcoming election

Chris   

I’m writing in Kanye West.

Q.C.      

I thought he was going to run in 2020?

Chris      

Trying to get the movement started already. KANYE 2020 “HOW SWAY”

Q.C.      

He might be a bigger disaster than what we have now, and that’s with all due respect to Yeezy

Chris      

Don’t you dare say that—he made College Dropout

Samantha      

I avoid conversations of politics so this is a hard one for me.

Chris      

That’s why we’re not going to talk politics and we’re talking Presidents!

Samantha      

We know Kanye is a real runner in 2020.

Q.C.      

Just say Trump (like we all already know) and get on with it

Chris      

First off—who is everyone’s favorite president and why?

Q.C.      

May I clarify the question?

Chris      

Sure.

Q.C.      

Is this favorite while president, or favorite because of their entire, awesome life?

Chris      

Let’s go with the latter first

Samantha      

Abe was pretty cool but I think I have to go  FDR

Q.C.      

Oh, well then it’s definitely Teddy

Picture taken back when hunting ivory was about as American as it got

Samantha      

Chris?

Chris      

In terms of sheer awesomeness—Teddy Roosevelt. Anyone that can fight a bear or single-handedly build the Panama Canal by himself over a long weekend is definitely the baddest dude of all time.

Samantha    

Did you know there are only 5 living US presidents

Q.C.      

Are there really? Carter, Bush, Bush, Clinton, and Obama?

Chris      

Yep

Q.C.      

I guess you’re right. Wow–I figured there would be a few more

Chris      

Truman was able to cryogenically freeze himself. Project Manhattan. He’s been living in secrecy with the lizard people under Mount Shasta.    

Q.C.      

Ah, yes. See—I knew there was more. Speaking of Obama, he’d be first on my list of Presidents to get a beer with

Samantha      

Out of the 5 alive?

Q.C.   

No, out of all of them

Samantha      

Oh I would totally have a beer with George W Bush. I know – crazy

Q.C.      

You know he’s a painter now?  He’s not a good one, that’s for sure

Chris      

I’d definitely have a beer with Washington. First question, “Sup with all them wooden teeth?”

Samantha      

He didn’t have wooden teeth. I just saved you a beer.

Chris      

Yeah he did

Samantha      

Sorry—I am stuck on these paintings

Q.C.    

Sam, how could he say he has wooden teeth, but also never tell a lie, if him having wooden teeth was a lie?

Chris      

Oh sorry. I stand corrected–he didn’t have wooden teeth, but he did have dentures made out of OTHER TEETH WTF. That’s way worse than wooden teeth

Q.C.      

Oh that’s awesome. That’s way more badass

Chris      

Wearing other people’s teeth like you’re some serial killer? I mean, if it’s the teeth of his enemies, that’s pretty cool. But just random other teeth? Gross.

Q.C.      

I defeated one of the greatest empires the world has ever seen… and ripped the teeth from King George himself to use as dentures

Chris      

That’s cool

Q.C.      

That might move him above Teddy

Samantha      

He didn’t even want to be president, really

Chris      

Who, Bush? We know. That’s why CHENEY TOOK OVER 9/11 IT WAS AN INSIDE JOB TOWER 7

Samantha      

Oh – no, not him—Washington. But that is an interesting point

Chris      

Yeah, Washington was a reluctant first President

Samantha      

I know a lot of random facts about Presidents without looking it up on Google

Q.C.      

Does anyone give a rip about James Madison?

Samantha

James Who?

Q.C.      

Yeah, ignore that. No one cares

Samantha      

You know who was kind of cool for his time? Grover Cleveland

Chris      

Named after the famed Sesame Street character

Q.C.      

Ah, yes.

Chris      

Why was Grover cool? I feel like we don’t hear about these other Presidents

Samantha      

I mean, only because he was single and then got married while president

Chris      

Oh snap. We definitely wouldn’t elect a single person today. Not a chance.

Samantha      

Dear Editor Q – should “President” be capitalized?

Q.C.      

Yes. If you’re typing it on US soil, then yes. That’s how these things work, I think

Samantha      

I guess it is the same as Prime Minister

Q.C.      

Only much better

Samantha      

Can we take a moment here to just say that Churchill is my favorite ever?

Chris      

I once read a biography about Harry Truman in elementary school for a book report. It was the most boring thing I’ve ever read. Probably why nobody talks about those other Presidents.

Q.C.      

Yeah I just looked over a list of Presidents again and wooooboy are there some stinkers in there

Chris

I’ll never forgive Truman for having a boring life.

Q.C.      

Who, besides Truman, faced the toughest problem while in office?

Samantha      

The Civil War was pretty bad

Chris      

Bush, 9/11. Hands down. End of convo….BUT ONLY BECAUSE HE KNEW IT AND THAT’S WHY HE WAS IN FLORIDA WHILE DICK CHENEY WAS FORCING THE US INTO AN ENDLESS WAR!!1! TOWER 7 LOOK AT THE EVIDENCE

Q.C.      

I read that you can see the face of Satan when one of the planes hit the tower

Samantha      

Presidents Review turns into Conspiracy Theories. Who killed JFK?

Chris      

DICK CHENEY

Q.C.      

James Franco killed JFK

Chris      

As ordered by the Illuminati who were ordered by the Reptilians to make a strategic move in the galactic war between themselves and the Grey Aliens

Q.C.      

Under the command of the Plutonians

Chris

NO ONE DENIES THIS.

Samantha

Oooooookay.

Chris      

Who is everyone’s least favorite President?

Q.C.      

Ok, so how far back do we have to go before we reach the first non-lizard President?

Chris      

Aaron Burr was the last non-Reptilian President

Q.C.      

HAHAHAHHAHAHA I love that statement so much hahahah I’m dying

Samantha      

Wait—are we bringing up Vice Presidents too? And how do you know them?

Chris      

I’m gonna be honest. I don’t remember the majority of Presidents

Samantha      

Lease favorite? Lyndon B Johnson

Q.C.      

My least favorite, without a doubt, was Chester Arthur. Talk about a dope

Samantha      

Random question – have either of you ever wanted to be President?

Q.C.      

No way

Chris      

Maybe when I was little and had zero power and felt like I wanted to have some sort of power. But now that I’ve looked at the “before and after” photos of Presidents—NOPE

Q.C.      

Yeah that JFK before and after is a bad look

Samantha      

Chris – you already don’t have a lot of hair…It wouldn’t be that bad, right?

Chris      

I’m not worried about losing hair. I’m worried about looking like I haven’t slept in 8 years    

Photo Credit: realclearpolitics.com

Q.C.      

I guess black does crack

Samantha      

…

Q.C.      

(I’m so sorry guys)

Chris

You should be.

Samantha      

For the record, I am sure he hasn’t slept

Chris      

Chris      

Photo Credit: newsandfroyo.com

Q.C.      

hahahaha oh god

Chris      

EVERYONE LOOKS WORSE! It does not look fun–you REALLY gotta want to be President

Samantha      

You realize people do age, right?

Chris      

Yes, but like THAT?!

Q.C.      

Photo Credit: time.com

Samantha      

Or it’s just make up

Q.C.      

This guy at least got some color

Samantha      

People may not trust you if they think you look all fresh and clean    

HAHA

Chris      

Ahhh, Reagan. Our last black-and-white President before the universe instituted color

Q.C.      

Photo Credit: realclearpolitics.com

I feel like carter just changed the part in his hair

Chris      

Changing with the times, Jimmy

Samantha      

Yeah, what?! No one does that

Chris      

Carter kinda wasn’t the best President, either

Q.C.      

Yeah he sucked. This might be the most jarring change    

Photo Credit: getty images

Q.C.      

Now THAT’S aging. I’ll tell ya what, Reagan was all over the place before and after    

 Here he is completely changing races    

Samantha      

Chris – you want to know why you don’t remember a lot of the presidents? It’s because they, well, sucked

Chris      

That’s true. That Truman book I read? I had to either do a book report or a diorama. I opted for the diorama and since there was no exciting parts of the book, it was just two LEGO people standing in a LEGO forest.

Samantha      

Did that work?

Chris      

I got a B. F**k Truman.

Q.C.      

Hahahaha. Dude what? That’s a terrible grade. Did you at least have a bunch of dead Japanese LEGO people lying on the ground or disintegrated into walls?

Chris      

Nah. They didn’t really cover that part in the elementary school biography.

Q.C.      

Oh, well I bet that would get you an A. When Trump invents time machines, I recommend going back in time and adding that

Chris      

I would’ve at least been able to make a cool nuclear reactor or something

Samantha      

Yeah “cool”

Q.C.      

How awesome would it be to be the first elementary school kid to make a nuclear reactor out of LEGOs

Chris      

They would’ve elected me class President

Q.C.      

and I would have given you an A

Samantha      

No – intelligence is not a requirement for Presidents

Chris      

Did either of you run for class office?

Samantha      

Nope!

Q.C.      

Nope, I let the nerds do that, while I played football and did cool things and definitely didn’t play D&D

Chris      

I once ran for class treasurer on the platform that I’d refund any money that vending machines accidentally ate. That was my only platform.

Q.C.      

Did it work?

Chris      

I lost in a landslide.

Q.C.      

Awww

Samantha      

Good try though

Chris      

Thanks guys

Q.C.      

Those Trump branded time machines can’t get here quickly enough for you. I hear he’s ahead of schedule building them

Chris      

I have so many mistakes to correct. Believe me. The HUGEST mistakes

Q.C.      

I’d start with the two mentioned here first. I’m sure they were your two largest mistakes

Chris      

Any other Presidential things we wanna talk about?    

Fun fact: Lincoln was a huge fan of live theater.

Samantha      

Ah so many other fun facts. Fun Fact #1264 in My Head: Thomas Jefferson had a lot of sex with everyone

Q.C.      

“Always keep an open mind. Like me, for example, I don’t really like the theater but I’m going to give it a shot” – Abraham Lincoln

Chris      

HEYOOOOOO

Q.C.      

Lincoln’s last words were “Good thing these tickets were free, Major Rathbone, this play su-“

Chris      

JFK’s were, “What’s that guy doing over on that kno–” BACK AND TO THE LEFT

Q.C.      

HAHAHAHHA

Chris      

9/11 WAS AN INSIDE JOB PERPETRATED BY THE LIZARDS NEVER FORGET! KANYE 2020 “HOW SWAY”! That’s it for today guys. Thank you!

The post Colocation America Reviews: Presidents appeared first on Colocation America.

Dust off your powdered wigs, leather dusters, and gaudy Renaissance wear, we’re talking time periods today!

Samantha

Can I start of by saying that the Renaissance Faire in Los Angeles is my favorite thing to go to?

Photo Credit: momsla.com

Chris

Yes, you can. I still have not gone, but desperately want to go

Samantha

You are missing out – beer, costumes, and food

Chris

Beer, costumes and food is what my Saturday’s already consist of. Let’s start here: what’s your favorite time period?

Q.C.

Cretaceous period is the best period because of my main man Tyrannosaurus Rex. What can be better than giant lizards running around?

Chris

Not many things

Q.C.

And it’s awesome

Chris

Well, “giant lizards” are debatable

Q.C.

Giant bird-like, lizard things

Chris

Feathery iguanas

Samantha

Can we back up and clarify what we consider a “time period”?

Chris

Sure. What would you like to define as a time period?

Q.C.

I would define it as anything with a beginning date and an ending date

Chris

Yeah, the feathery iguana time period from 1955-1973

Samantha

Well then my favorite time period includes some of Chris’ feathery iguana time period. I dug the American 50s

Photo Credit: kaisercarart.com

Q.C.

Love the American stipulation.

Chris

Yeah, what about the Spanish 1950’s?

Samantha

Nope

Chris

BARCELONA BE POPPIN IN ’57

Samantha

It’s like saying you loved the time of the pyramids, but if you were a slave, it would have sucked!

Q.C.

Ummmm…So about 1950s America….

Chris

Yeah, Sam….

Samantha

It’s a cultural thing, haha

Chris

Woah, ok.

Samantha

And there we go, you guys always take things out of context.

Q.C.

It was going to happen eventually

Samantha

You are talking about the wrong American time period

Q.C.

The 1950s were no cake walk for some cultures, though

Chris

One day we’re going to do the “Worst of CLA Reviews” and it’s just going to be a conversation full of assorted horrible remarks about various cultures.

Q.C.

I’d read it.

Chris

Ok, what do you like about the American 1950s, Sam?

Samantha

Ok – you know the movie Pleasantville? I am imaging that one

Q.C.

Yes! I love that movie!

Chris

Yeah, the one with all the white people

Samantha

I knew you were going to go there. This is all going bad haha

Q.C.

Oh man, you know what bothered me about that movie?

Samantha

What?

Q.C.

That the sister decided to stay there. Why would she do that!?

Samantha

RIGHT?! Reese, what were you thinking?

Q.C.

I loved every other part of that movie besides that!

Samantha

Very true

Q.C.

That was clearly Reese Withoutherspoon and not Reese Witherspoon, because that b****h be trippin’

Chris

HEYOOOOO!

Samantha

Aww, but she is so good in Sweet Home Alabama

Chris

Not many people know this, but the entirety of the 1950s was in black and white. The world was without color until 1960

Q.C.

Ah yes, on the 8th day God created technicolor. The Good Book was written prematurely. He wasn’t finished yet. Simply resting.

Samantha

Maybe that is where she went…

Chris

Ok, Sam, in all seriousness, what is appealing to you about the American 1950s?

Samantha

Honestly, my sociological background is making me say the culture. People where fighting for their community and themselves–at the same time, it was a time of happiness and prosperity

Chris

So you liked it because it was a period of societal change?

Samantha

Yeah!

Q.C.

Well, I would have to agree with you, Sam. If we’re being serious. The boom after WWII was just incredible. The sense of national pride and the drive and determination to prove to the world that the United States were the best was awesome.

Samantha

Yep. Besides that – the whole Roman Empire could have been interesting.

Q.C.

The Romans were awesome—they were like Greeks on steroids.

Chris

Q–favorite time period?

Q.C.

Definitely the Renaissance, Medieval–all that stuff. The lore, art, literature is so fascinating to me

Samantha

Was it the swords?

Q.C.

Yes. It was the swords. That was a time when MEN were MEN and the women were MEN, you know?

Chris

I’m fascinated with the Medieval period

Samantha

The women had so many layers to put on, like why didn’t everyone die from heat?

Q.C.

Yeah that must have been awful. But global warming wasn’t a thing yet, so

Chris

I highly recommend checking out “Medieval History” from Monty Python’s Terry Jones on YouTube. It breaks down a lot of myths and misconceptions about Medieval times

Q.C.

That there was just copious amounts of poop everywhere? I mean, there had to be

Chris

Fun fact: Medieval peasants worked far less than today’s modern employee. They had way more holidays off, for religious reasons. Sure the actual work was harder, but they had vacations, dammit!

Q.C.

I think it’s time to bring this up, then:

Chris

Also, if you were a peasant farmer, you couldn’t work while it was winter, so you’d be busy just trying to stay alive

Q.C.

America has the least amount of vacation time in the WORLD, but that’s just a side note. That is pretty cool, though. It makes you wonder why people lived in the North, “Hey this looks like a great place to stay and freeze!”

Chris

You didn’t have much of a choice. Lots of lords and serfdom

Q.C.

What’s your favorite time period, Chris?

Chris

I’m incredibly fascinated by pre-history. But since we don’t have record of that, I’d say that whatever the Chinese were doing from like 1300-1800 was crazy. They were inventing guns, fireworks, all that

Chris

Railroads, gunpowder, ninjas. I also really like Medieval Times –the restaurant, not the period

Samantha

I just want to watch A Knight’s Tale right now

Q.C.

RIP Heath

Chris

Ok, least favorite time period! Like, which one would you not want to go back in time and visit

Samantha

Interesting question

Q.C.

Beginning of time – before affordable electricity (edited)

Samantha

I would have to probably go with the Industrial Revolution, exciting but kind of dirty

Chris

Oh! Can I express my love for early 1900’s America, too?

Q.C.

What a time for the “Rust Belt”

Chris

Like, post-WWI to pre-WW2? Prohibition probably sucked, but the outfits seem cool. And I like seeing old-timey major cities

Samantha

Before suburbs?

Chris

Not even that, just like, “This is what NYC looked like in 1919”

Q.C.

Yeah that would have been pretty cool!

Chris

And there’s one building you recognize, like the Flatiron building and there’s dirt roads

Samantha

Yeah it was the clash of two worlds

Q.C.

Can we go back to your Chinese time period thing for a second? Does the time you ended that time period correspond to the time in which they were introduced to opium?

Samantha

Guys – this review makes us seem intelligent

Chris

Probably

Samantha

Ah the days of opium dens

Q.C.

Think if they weren’t

Samantha

The darn British

Chris

They started using opium as far back as the 7th century

Q.C.

Do y’all feel like no one cares about history anymore? Like the majority of people you come across don’t know it

Chris

I blame the History Channel and their lack of showing actual historical programming in favor of wild alien theories

Samantha

But they do the drama pieces so well!

Q.C.

Hahahahaha I love those wild alien theories though. I’d say that’s about history as much as anything… if they’re right

Chris

1947 was the Roswell crash, the 1950s are Sam’s favorite time period. Coincidence? I THINK NOT

Q.C.

Sam = Lizard person CONFIRMED

Samantha

Yes, I am a Lizard Person.

Q.C.

Told ya.

Samantha

Have you ever spent an evening with a person who makes coincidences out of everything?

Q.C.

I’ve maybe shared an afternoon, but probably never spent an evening

Samantha

Like you go “oh I was just thinking I should go to the bar and get wasted” and the person goes “I was so going to do the same thing”? For everything you say – for hours…Anyways, enough about my weekend, haha

Q.C.

That sounds incredibly annoying

Chris

If you could travel back in time, what’s the one period you’d go to? Doesn’t have to be your favorite time period

Q.C.

1981-1989

Chris

Why?

Q.C.

To bask in this beautiful man’s glory:

Photo Credit: anthony-clark.com

Chris

Hahaha

Samantha

I would pick a day that is still debated today and pay attention to what actually happened

Chris

I’m with Sam, I wanna go back and see what all the fuss is about with that Jesus fella in Israel

Q.C.

Oh you know what!? I read something interesting about that today

Samantha

Well he was a Jewish man with debated skin pigmentation

Q.C.

Would you want to know if he was the son of God or not? Or just if his carpentry was so legendary, that people thought he was

Chris

I heard he could make one hell of an end table

Q.C.

Anyways, would it have mattered if he was or not?

Chris

No, I think it’d be interesting to see the actual culture of the time and see if it was as big of a deal as The Bible makes it out to be

Q.C.

Ahhhh ok

Q.C.

Yeah that would be pretty dope

Chris

Or like, was he treated the same way we’d treat someone like David Karesh or any number of people who have claimed to be the Messiah

Samantha

I want to know if he was getting it on with Mary Magdalene or if she was an old, rich lady

Chris

Mary Magdelene was a prostitute, and Jesus 100% totally got it on with her

Samantha

Hey – that is debated! Either way, she was a genius

Q.C.

I would argue he was treated differently, in the sense that I had completely forgotten about Karesh

Chris

Hahaha. Were the “miracles” even miracles, or did Jesus show up with a bunch of extra fish and bread? I wanna know that kinda stuff

Samantha

Have you ever met a hungry person who didn’t think extra fish and bread was a miracle?

Chris

I have not.

Samantha

BTW, am I supposed to know who David Karesh is?

Q.C.

Yes—he was the leader of the cult in Waco that got ransacked by the Feds. He proclaimed himself to be the Messiah.

Chris

Like, my friend Steve is a legend for showing up to a party that kicked all its alcohol with an extra 3 cases of beer. We don’t worship him though.

Q.C.

God Bless Steve

Samantha

That is a handy friend – I must meet this Steve

Chris

Is Steve the Messiah? No, he’s not. But if someone would’ve asked me to retell the story, I’d throw in that he magically produced it like David Copperfield and that we all got laid that night

Q.C.

Steve = Jesus confirmed. What if Jesus was just like an X-Man type person or something? And he really hated that everyone kept calling him the son of god and misquoting him all the time?

Chris

But I’m with Sam though, I’d like to go back and get the real story about what happened for various important dates. Because we don’t know for sure, especially on a lot of older stuff, before pictures, etc.

Q.C.

Like who shot JFK.

Chris

Yeah! Go back and hang out on the grassy knoll. See what the f*ck is up

Samantha

Would you stop it or just watch? I just want to watch – I would like to live my life so no thank you

Q.C.

I’d shoot him myself

Chris

YOU DON’T CHANGE HISTORY. Jeez, didn’t Back to the Future teach you anything

Q.C.

They’d probably still blame Oswald, right?

Chris

Oswald Cobblepot? Definitely

Samantha

But Keanu did just fine messing with history…

Chris

Well, he’s Keanu

Samantha

Sorry – I mean Keanu in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, not Matrix Keanu. very different

Chris

I thought you were talking about that adorable kitten, Keanu.

Q.C.

Oh! Well that changes everything!

Samantha

AHH –no, I never talk about cats

Chris

What other time periods do you think it’d be cool to travel to?

Samantha

Other cool places? Maybe hanging out with Native Americans when Europeans landed in America may be cool

Chris

YEAH!

Q.C.

Ummm to answer Chris’ question, probably like the Jurassic Period

Chris

I wanna hang out with the Native Americans and watch as they see the ships coming to shore and are like, “The hell is this?” Aztecs would be pretty cool to hang out with too, minus the whole use-my-head-as-a-football thing

Q.C.

What about skin walkers, though?

Chris

Skinwalkers are out of the question

Q.C.

I would want to see what really killed the dinosaurs. Because if it was that meteor, I want to see that explosion

Samantha

But that is dangerous

Q.C.

Sure it is

Samantha

I mean, really dangerous – haven’t you seen Jurassic Park?

Q.C.

I’m under the impression that they’d be much more scared of me than I of them

Chris

I’d say it’d be about equal, depending on what you ran into. Carnivore? You’re dead. Herbivore? I think you’d be okay

Q.C.

Dr. Alan Grant taught me everything I need to know, I’ll be alright

Samantha

Now it would be cool to know which dinosaurs we have yet to discover

Q.C.

Yes!

Chris

Oh man, can you imagine jumping into pre-historic waters? TERRIFYING

Chris

Photo Credit: dinosaur-world.com

Q.C.

No thanks! I’m not f***in’ with that. Would anyone want to see Pompeii from a distance?

Samantha

I do not think I could witness millions dying

Chris

I’d see Pompeii. I’d want to go back and check out the Coliseum too

Q.C.

Yes sir!

Samantha

I would love to see live jousting. How cool would it be to be able to re-live just certain events?

Q.C.

I thought we already discussed Medieval Times

Samantha

We did but now I thought about how cool it would be to see just certain “cultural” events

Chris

That’s what I’m saying…I want time travel to happen so I can go back and check things out

Q.C.

1980 Olympic Semi-finals. USA v The Soviet Union. I want to be there

Chris

YES

Q.C.

That atmosphere must have been ridiculous

Samantha

Would you want to relive any parts of your life? I wouldn’t – I do not want to see what happened now that I know what became of it.

Chris

No. Well, maybe

Q.C.

Uhhh, maybe

Chris

Do I get to keep my future-memories?

Samantha

Yes

Chris

Oh, then 100% yes

Q.C.

If I had the chance for a mulligan, maybe

Samantha

You are who you are but you are just traveling through time, haha

Chris

Totally

Q.C.

Wouldn’t you have already influenced your life, then? And the life you’re living will always be the life you were supposed to live?

Samantha

Now this is way off topic (I mean we are already off topic) but who would you want to meet?

Q.C.

I would love to meet a young Tolkien and just listen to him talk. I’d love to be at the table when he and CS Lewis chatted at the pub

Chris

Is it weird to say Hitler? Not to kill him, or to like pal around or anything, but just to see what the dude was like on, say, a Tuesday.

Q.C.

That’s not too weird.

Samantha

Yeah – that is a good one! I want to hang with Honest Abe. I want to know how he really felt

Q.C.

The Vampire Slayer or the President?

Samantha

President, haha

Chris

Some say “Honest Abe” was about as straight as a silly straw.

Q.C.

Ohhh I want to meet Vlad the Impaler

Samantha

Why Q?

Q.C.

Just to see how insane he really was, and to see if he’s really Dracula

Samantha

Well, he did have a thing for blood so beware

Q.C.

And that whole Eastern European thing during that time was so messed up, I think it’d be fun

Chris

I’d like to see if all those kings actually looked like the paintings that got made of them

Q.C.

Yeah that’d be pretty neat

Samantha

This whole conversation is the most random thing – I love it! From Tolkien to Dracula and then king paintings

Chris

Nobody is gonna touch on that “Abraham Lincoln is gay” gem I threw down? Okay, I’ll leave this here then….

Q.C.

How dare you sully that name of Mary Todd! Wait… Todd? Damn it

Samantha

Chris – one’s sexuality does not matter to us.

Chris

I never said it mattered, I’m just saying that there is evidence that he might have been our first gay President.

Samantha

Gotcha. That Wikipedia article kind of makes it sound like every man during this time period slept with his friend.

Chris

You don’t sleep in the same bed as your homies? Whatever.

Q.C.

Yeah, Sam. Dudes sleep together all the time.

Chris

What about the Wild West era of the US?

Q.C.

If y’all have the chance, go play Red Dead Redemption for an awesome view into the Wild West

Chris

Red Dead is great! It’s Grand Theft Auto with horses

Samantha

The Wild West would be fun but I kind of like structure and law

Chris

I don’t know if it was as lawless as we might imagine it or portray it as, which brings us back to going to places to get the real story

Samantha

True, true.

Chris

Any other closing comments on time periods? Anything we didn’t mention?

Q.C.

We didn’t mention the future. I don’t know why I didn’t say that for what I’d most like to visit.

Samantha

Now about this future thing – naw. I’d rather leave some surprise

Chris

I definitely just want to jump forward to the part where we can travel to different galaxies, planets, etc.

Q.C.

United States of Space

Chris

WOOOOOOO

Samantha

We own it by the way—Space.

Q.C.

It’s actually considered international waters and follows those bylaws

Chris

Photo Credit: sociolingusitcsandthechappelleshow.wordpress.com

Samantha

Q – we, the US of A, own space

Q.C.

You’re right. How silly of me

Samantha

Thank you!

Chris

Ok, on that note, that’ll do it! See you next time!

The post Colocation America Reviews: Time Periods appeared first on Colocation America.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year (depending on when you read this). We’re talking HOLIDAYS today!

Samantha      

Flat out – what is your favorite holiday? And does your birthday count as a holiday?

Q.C.      

Sure, why not? Christmas is my favorite holiday because it has all the food of Thanksgiving, but I also get gifts

Chris      

My favorite holiday is the 4th of July. It’s summer, so you can go outside and celebrate, and then you get to blow stuff up for freedom. Birthday’s are a personal holiday. Neither I nor the US Government observe it as a federal holiday.

Samantha      

So only Federal Holiday’s count?

Chris      

Well, let’s talk federal first, then we can go fringe holidays. Because I have a LOT of opinions on Arbor Day

Photo Credit: bestbrains.com

Q.C.      

Go ahead. I’m ready to hear some strong opinions on Arbor Day. That Day needs to be dropped down a peg

Chris

First off, I’m a huge fan of trees, but they don’t deserve their own holiday. AT ALL. Not only because it’s a stupid thing to celebrate, but it opens up the floodgates for so many other inanimate objects that someone will inevitably try to rally for.

Then you gotta celebrate Shrub Day, and Wheat Day, and then the entire movement goes off the rails, and the next thing you know, the Post Office isn’t open because we have to observe Thorn Bush Day

Q.C.      

I would celebrate the s**t out of Wheat Day

Samantha      

Wait – Arbor Day is not an approved Federal holiday

Chris      

Good. F*ck trees.

Samantha      

Your bank is lying to you! Find a new bank that does not like trees

Chris      

Judging by the amount of paper Chase sends me per month, they already don’t like trees

Samantha      

Don’t you have a paperless option? I am now worried about trees

Q.C.

There are more trees on Earth than stars in the observable universe, Sam. They’ll be fine

Chris      

I do have the paperless option, but that doesn’t stop them from sending me credit card offers on a weekly basis.

Samantha      

Really? Why did we not include this on our “fun facts” review?

Q.C.      

3.04 trillion trees on Earth 

Samantha      

Another fun fact: I thought we changed the name of “Washington’s Birthday” to “Presidents Day”

Q.C.      

Only if you read the news through the lens of the liberal media, Sam

Samantha      

PS our government has it under “Life in the US“

Q.C.      

Interesting

Samantha      

I did not realize that Christmas Day was a Federal Holiday!

Q.C.      

‘Course it is!

Samantha      

I thought religion and state were kept separate…

Q.C.      

Well most of these holidays are based in some religion

Samantha      

Like Labor Day?

Q.C.      

Absolutely like Labor Day

Samantha      

Do they have Space Day?

Photo Credit: zeldauniverse.net

Chris      

Space Day is the first Friday in May

Samantha      

This article probably came out on April Fools Day (a pointless holiday). I mean, there is a day for everything now, right? I am sure there is a “Day for Everything” Day

Q.C.      

Anyone celebrate Festivus?

Chris      

My birthday is on Festivus!

Q.C.      

Yeah it is! That’s so awesome.

Chris      

It’s pretty convenient that Festivus has a test of strength, since my birthday ritual has me defeat someone my same age in combat

Q.C.      

…combat?

Samantha      

Wow – serious birthday!

Chris      

Yeah, hand to hand combat. Right as you wake up. Alarm. Combat.

Q.C.      

How has that worked out for you?

Chris      

I’m still here, aren’t I?

Q.C.      

Hahahahha you sure are. That’s impressive. So when you popped out of the womb, they made you fight the baby in the next crib?

Chris      

It starts at age 5 and up. I’m not an animal

Samantha      

So were you in the movie 300?

Chris      

In it? Living it.

Q.C.      

Lmao. And that’s the true spirit of Arbor Day

Samantha      

Arbor Day is not about killing things? I mean aren’t you planting stuff?

Q.C.      

Who said anything about killing anyone?

Chris

Yeah, it’s just combat. Not death-combat.

Q.C.

My birthday is on Jesus’s birthday

“Presidents of the Church, including Harold B. Lee (p. 2) and Spencer W. Kimball (p. 54), have reaffirmed that April 6 is the true anniversary of Christ’s birth, but have encouraged Church members to join with other Christians in observing Christmas as a special day for remembering Jesus’ birth and teachings”

I should clarify that only the Mormons really believe that

Samantha      

I love that line “but have encouraged Church members to join with other Christians in observing Christmas…” HAHA. I thought everyone agreed Jesus was not born near December

Chris      

Sam, what’s your favorite holiday and why?

Samantha      

Favorite holiday goes to Thanksgiving – I love hanging with my family and I dig the Puppy Bowl, haha

Q.C.      

I thought the Puppy Bowl was on Super Bowl Sunday?

Photo Credit: animalplanet.com

Chris      

Yeah me too. Sam, are you thinking of the Super Bowl? Both have copious amounts of food, football, and no real purpose

Samantha      

No the cute puppy one!

Chris      

Yeah, the one that happens on Super Bowl Sunday. Sorry, Big Game Sunday. Sorry, That One Really Important Football Game at the End of the Season To Decide a Championship (Please don’t sue us!)

Q.C.      

Superb Owl

Samantha      

Yeah does this count as a holiday?

Chris      

Does what count as a holiday?

Samantha      

The Big Game Who Cannot Be Named.

Chris      

It’s huge, no doubt, but I don’t think it warrants a holiday. It’s just a cool cultural thing we can all get together for, not something to celebrate

Q.C.      

It feels like a holiday, that’s for sure

Chris      

What do you think has more media lead-up, the week before Christmas or the week before the Super Bowl?

Q.C.      

Christmas, for sure

Chris      

Easily. Okay–what’s everyone’s favorite fringe holiday?

Q.C.      

It’s a tie between the Superb Owl and May the 4th.

Chris      

Mine is International Skeptics Day–celebrated on January 13th, October 13th, or the first Friday of the year. Nobody can really say for sure when it is.

Samantha

Well June 14th is Own Your Share of America Day! That seems like a kind of cool fringe holiday

Chris

Yeah it does, and we hope you own your share of America this July 4th as you celebrate America’s Independence Day (the one where we broke from England, not the alien invasion one). Have a safe and happy Fourth, everyone!

The post Colocation America Reviews: Holidays appeared first on Colocation America.

THE FUNNEST OF FACTS aka TOPICS ARE RUNNING THIN, GUYS. Get your Google out because it’s time for the Colocation America Staff to review (not really) your favorite fun facts!

Q.C.     

Fun facts, eh? Neat

Samantha     

Do people have “fun facts” anymore thanks to Google? No one ever wonders anything anymore…

Photo Credit: tsk.com

Q.C.     

My mom does because she always forgets about Google

Chris     

Yeah, Google really ruined the whole bar argument

Q.C.     

What’s your favorite fun fact?

Samantha     

Hold up—what is considered a fun fact?

Q.C.     

Something where you’ll say, “Ah, that’s fun”

Chris     

When I was in college and trying to pick up girls, I would tell them that I played for a AAA minor league baseball team. Is that a fun fact? Now I can’t, because THANKS GOOGLE

Q.C.     

That is not a fact, but I’m sure it was rather fun

Chris     

So much fun

Samantha     

Yeah – my golf guy did that to me last year – he told everyone he played professional golf and, well, Google shot it down

Chris     

I also once told a girl I was a dolphin trainer despite living in supremely landlocked Pittsburgh, PA

Samantha     

Did that work?

Q.C.     

Nah man, those Three River Dolphins are some of the best dolphins around

Chris

Yeah, I trained those rare Monongahela River dolphins.

Q.C.     

Anne Frank and MLK were born in the same year—there’s a fun one

Samantha     

4-20 is Hitler’s birthday

Chris     

Here’s a good one: vending machines kill 4 times as many people as sharks per year

Q.C.     

Ok—which came first? The Aztecs or Oxford University

Chris     

Oxford!

Q.C.     

Indeed!

Samantha     

You are more likely to get in an “airplane crash” while taxiing then actually during flying PS – I have yet to use Google for any of these fun facts! Which also means I am not confirming these are true facts.

Q.C.     

“Statistically you’re more likely to die on the way to the airport” — Lloyd Christmas

Photo Credit: youtube.com

Chris     

Here’s a mind-blowing fun fact: the brain named itself and psychology is the brain trying to understand itself

Samantha     

I love that one!

Q.C.     

I’m pretty sure we’ve been to the moon and back before the Cubs made it back to a World Series. Which seems a lot harder than a 1 in 15 chance

Samantha     

Oh here’s a good one: there is no crying in baseball.

Chris     

Speaking of the moon, a TI-83 calculator has six times more processing power than the computer that put Apollo 11 on the moon

Q.C.     

We went there on a flying toaster. LOOK IT UP

Chris     

This is true. It was a very brave toaster, as well

Q.C.     

The bravest, some might say

Samantha     

Love that movie – I think Netflix or was it Hulu Plus just added it

Chris     

Are any of you left-handed?

Q.C.     

No. I’m not some FREAK

Samantha  

Nope!

Chris     

Well, good–because more than 2500 left-handed people die from using things meant for right-handed people each year

Q.C.     

Hmmm now that’s pretty interesting

Chris     

Right? Never run with right-handed scissors

Samantha     

Speaking of dying – the designer of the unsinkable Titanic died on the Titanic

Chris     

That’s true! He wanted to add more lifeboats and other sink-preventing measures and they totally denied him.

Samantha     

Yep!

Chris     

If I were him, I’d be running around screaming, “I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!”

Samantha     

And not help anyone get off?

Q.C.     

Pft, I wouldn’t help at all

Chris     

No. I wanted to add more lifeboats. They said no. F them

Samantha     

Remind me to not be in a life or death situation with you

Chris

The average human has anywhere between 2 to 9 pounds of bacteria in their body

Samantha   

We shed every night, too

Chris     

We are literally scumbags

Q.C.     

16 pennies stacked = 1 inch. 16 pennies in a line = 1 foot

Photo Credit: reddit.com

Samantha     

Oh the penny one is a good one!

Chris     

Woah, no way

Samantha     

I need to up my fun fact game. Here is a fun fact: the fun fact book I bought like 20 years ago is still being sold at Barnes and Noble (as of Saturday night when I was there…)

Chris     

Fun fact: Barnes and Noble is still a thing

Q.C.     

Octopuses (yes, it’s octopuses) have 6 arms and 2 legs, not 8 legs. TAKE THAT SCIENTISTS

Chris     

The total weight of all the ants on Earth is greater than the total weight of all the humans on Earth

Samantha     

Gross

Chris     

That’s a lot of ants

Q.C.     

A deer can jump higher than the average house

Samantha     

Are you two reviewing animals now?

Chris     

No, just spewing facts, bruh

Q.C.     

No, i’m just saying the deer has very strong back legs and a house can’t jump at all, therefore, a deer can jump higher than the average house. IT’S JUST SCIENCE

Samantha     

Well at least 6 Americans have been accidentally shot by dogs in the past 5 years

Chris     

Dogs are taking over

Q.C.     

“Accidentally”

Samantha     

It’s not the apes, it’s the dogs we need to worry about

Chris     

In 2008, there was a survey that resulted in 58% of British teens believing Sherlock Holmes was real, while 20% believed Winston Churchill was not real. I imagine that Venn Diagram overlaps significantly.

Samantha     

I love Churchill!

Q.C.     

22% thought he was the same person

Samantha     

Speaking of craziness in politics and law – a lawyer in New York tried to settle a civil suit by invoking his right to trial by combat (edited)

Q.C.     

That’s amazing

Samantha     

Oh and that was in 2015

Q.C.     

Was he granted it?

Chris     

I would love to see that

Samantha     

It is the true American way

Chris     

The Wright Brothers first flew in 1903, 66 years later we were on the moon

Samantha     

Again, the American way

Chris     

USA USA USA!

Q.C.     

50 years later, we’ll be on MARS

Chris     

USA USA USA!

Samantha     

Speaking of the outer space – Jimmy Carter promised to release all government UFO info when elected…clearly he lied.

Chris

THE TRUTH IS STILL OUT THERE.

Q.C.     

Hillary is claiming to make public the records of the goings-on of Area 51

Chris     

This is true

Q.C.     

But we all know the best aliens are from the Trump Tower Grill. I love the extraterrestrial!

Chris     

The popular video game Duck Hunt is actually a 2 player game. Player 2 controls the ducks

Photo Credit: CrazyGames

Samantha

I hated that dog.

Q.C.

Everyone did, Sam. That smug bastard.

Chris     

There are more fake flamingos than there are real flamingos

Q.C.     

The sun accounts for 99.86% of the solar systems’ mass

Photo Credit: relfe.com

Chris     

Martin Sheen’s real name was Ramon Estevez. So Charlie Sheen changed his name to capitalize on his dad’s changed name. And that’s how you get AIDS

Q.C.     

Hahahahha too bad they aren’t German. 1% of the German population is immune to AIDS

Chris     

Woah wait…Germans are immune to AIDS?

Q.C.     

Some of them

Samantha     

Interesting. That is good news for me and my German-ness

Q.C.     

…Were you planning on getting AIDS?

Samantha     

Oh, people

Chris

Earth would be the size of a baseball if there were not space in between its atoms

Samantha     

How do you know we are not already the size of a baseball?

Q.C.     

Ooooooooooooooh Sam just got all SCIENCEY up in here. Quantum physics, yo! String theory, b*tches!

Chris     

The largest air force in the world is the US Air Force. The second largest air force in the world is the US Navy.

Q.C.     

Photo Credit: xamuel.com

Samantha     

Creepy!

Q.C.     

Photo Credit: chacha.com

Chris     

If you shave a bald eagles wings, there’s a fully functional male arm underneath it. No one denies this.

Samantha     

Oh here is a new one! Bison is the US National Mammal. Like as of 2 weeks ago

Chris     

That’s awesome! Did you know the population of Ireland is still 2 million less than it was before the potato famine, 160 years ago?

Q.C.     

That’s because they ate their babies to stave off the famine!

Samantha     

Oh no!

Chris     

If you keep going North, you will eventually go South. If you keep going East, you will never go West.

Q.C.     

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Modest_Proposal

Samantha     

Fun Fact of the Day: My dog just killed my new bracelet in the middle of this review.

Q.C.     

When the oldest person on Earth was born, there was a completely different set of people on Earth. Every single one of them

Samantha     

How does that make sense?

Q.C.     

Because he’s the oldest person, so when he was born, there was an entirely different set of people, no overlapping

Chris     

100+ years is a long-ass time

Q.C.     

There are more lakes in Canada than the rest of the world combined.

Samantha     

Do you know what the word is for the day after tomorrow? “Overmorrow”

Q.C.

I did know that!

Chris

Definitely going to start using “overmorrow”.

Q.C.     

One million seconds is a little over 11 days. One billion seconds is over 31 years. Everyone knows a billion is a 1000 million, but the size difference is still difficult to conceptualize

Samantha     

Q – Did you just do that math in your head? And do not lie – 60% of people can’t have a 10-minutes conversation without lying at least once

Q.C.     

Uhhhhhh. I sure didn’t do that math in my head, but I was going to lie about it

Samantha     

Naw, lies.

Q.C.   

The “L” in Samuel L Jackson stands for “Motherf****r.”

Chris

That’s true. It’s on his driver’s license.

Samantha

Are you having a soda right now? Apparently 600 ml of soda a day ages a person the same rate as smoking! Once again, I cannot confirm the source of any of these facts but I am genius and do not lie so they must be true

Q.C.     

What about zero-calorie sodas? Marketing genius’s way to get me

Chris     

Zero-calorie sodas are literally acid. Don’t quote me on that

Q.C.     

I’m ok with that

Samantha     

Have you ever seen what Coke does to a nail?

Q.C.     

I have. Again, I’m tougher than nails, so….

Chris     

Have you seen what I do to a Coke?

Samantha     

Ew?

Chris     

IT’S NOT PRETTY BUT IT’S WHAT I DO, SAM

Q.C.     

Macaulay Culkin and Ryan Gosling are the same age

Chris     

No way. Macaulay Culkin looks 70. That guy has not aged well for someone who used to date Mila Kunis, whom I only assume is a living Fountain of Youth.

Samantha     

Speaking of celebrities – do you know the movie Teen Witch?

Q.C.     

Yes

Samantha     

The main girl in it is Blake Lively’s sister!

Q.C.     

Oh my. Intersting

Samantha     

This is real – they look the same!

Q.C.     

Here’s more math, Sam:

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

Chris     

Okay everyone, one more fun fact from each of you before we go

Q.C.     

Alright: Kangaroos have three vaginas and two uteri. They can be perpetually pregnant. And I’m out

Samantha     

There is a museum of Failed Products in Ann Arbor, MI. It contains products that tanked within months of their release. Like Toaster Eggs? Cause that seems stupid

Q.C.     

I’d argue Ann Arbor, MI is a failed product….

Chris     

We were talking about the awesomness of the USA earlier, but it was founded on getting totally sloshed. The delegates at the Constitutional Convention spent their time getting hammered drunk. One document from the convention is a bill for a party on September 15, 1787, two days before signing the Constitution. They tallied up 54 bottles of Madeira, 60 bottles of claret, 8 bottle of whiskey, 8 bottles of cider, 12 bottles of beer, and 7 bowls of alcoholic punch. This was for 55 people.

Samantha     

Ah, no wonder my people moved here

Q.C.     

OH MAN WE’RE AWESOME! TAKE THAT YOU REDCOAT BASTARDS!

Chris

USA USA USA USA USA!!!!!

Samantha     

And scene

Chris  

That’s it for this week–thanks!

*Main photo credit: tsk.com

The post Colocation America Reviews: Fun Facts appeared first on Colocation America.

Welcome back to Colocation America Reviews–where we kinda-sorta “review” things. Maybe. Who knows? Anyways, our topic this week is music!

Q.C.     

I’m a big fan of circus music, I’ll just throw that out there

Samantha     

I listen to everything but I will say that circus music is not the top of my list.

Chris     

That’s an interesting way to start, and a confession that I’m sure you should keep to yourself

Q.C.     

Good enough for The Who, good enough for me!

Samantha     

I mean, The Beatles sang about a Yellow Submarine so…

Chris     

What is it about circus music that you like?

Q.C.     

Mainly the circus aspect of it. I’d give circus music an 8 out of 10

Chris     

Do you listen to circus music on your iPod in the car? I’m just wondering where the context for that would ever come up

Q.C.     

Occasionally

Chris     

If it’s on shuffle

Q.C.     

Yeah

Samantha     

Everyone knows not to shuffle my iPod – they could easily get circus music. I mean, I have the “Golf Boys” singing Oh, Oh, Oh

Photo Credit: golfchannel.com

Q.C.     

Let’s, uh, change the subject here

Samantha     

And yes, the Golf Boys are a thing

Q.C.     

Interesting

Chris     

Golf Boys?

Q.C.     

Is this now “Music Confessions?”

Chris     

I am finding out a lot about both of you right now

Samantha     

Yeah, it was like 3 professional golfers

Q.C.     

Out of 10, Sam, how would you rate the Golf Boys? Better or worse than circus music?

Samantha     

Well it’s on my Mini Golf playlist so its a 9.8/10

Chris     

Oh, that’s an interesting playlist that I never want to hear

Q.C.     

Oddly specific, but I respect that

Samantha     

I mean, they repeat “Oh, Oh, Oh”

Q.C.     

Are you the person that has their phone on speaker playing music while you mini golf? Cause those people get a 0 out of 10 in any type of situation

Samantha     

When you run the Mini Golf Course, you can do whatever you want

Chris     

Have the Golf Boys ever been nominated for any music awards? Or have they been recognized by the PGA? Also, what bad decisions in your life lead you to find out about and ENJOY the Golf Boys?

Q.C.     

I assume you mean you just run around the course

Chris     

Q–same question to you, but about circus music

Samantha     

Real Lyric: “you want to hit the ball now”.

Chris     

Of course Rickie Fowler is in it

Samantha     

Of course!

Q.C.     

To answer your question…Um, really just listening to The Who’s best of with that Cobwebs and Strange song and I was like, that’s kind of wacky and fun, so I just went with it

Chris     

Who’s your favorite circus-music artist? Barnham or Baley?

Q.C.     

Hahahaha my favorite circus-music artist is without a doubt Charles Dibdin

Photo Credit: artuk.org

Samantha     

Changing subjects – does anyone have a life “theme song”?

Q.C.

But yeah, let’s, uh, change the subject and answer Sam’s question

Chris     

Ice Cube – “Today Was A Good Day”. Because it perfectly captures my upbringing as a young white boy in the suburbs

Q.C.     

Oh without a doubt

Chris     

I didn’t even have to use my AK

Samantha     

I did not see that coming

Q.C.     

Eminem – “Drips”. Sam?

Chris     

By the way, I’m 100% serious. I love that song

Q.C.     

By the way, I’m 001% serious, I hate that song

Samantha     

In grad school my theme song was “Headlines” by Drake because I loved the line “Drinking every night because we drink to my accomplishments”

Q.C.     

Hahahaha nice!

Samantha     

I put that line in a paper once too. And this summer my theme song was “Assh*le” by Ben Limpic. I go into phases

Q.C.     

I read that as Limp Bizkit

Chris     

Hahah. Ok, current favorite artist?

Q.C.     

Metallica

Photo Credit: theguardian.com

Chris     

You can never go wrong with Metallica

Q.C.     

GOAT

Chris     

I’m not even a rock/metal fan but I like Metallica

Samantha     

Really?

Q.C.     

They’re the best

Chris     

They have an amazing catalog

Samantha     

I am digging Jess Glynne right now

Q.C.     

Hmm never heard of her. Recommend any songs?

Samantha     

Yeah, “Hold My Hand” is probably one of her most popular ones. But recently I have had “Dont Be So Hard on Yourself” on repeat

Q.C.     

Yeah, I’ve heard that “Hold My Hand” song before, just never knew who sang it–pretty good! Chris, what about you–Favorite artist?

Chris     

Currently: Chance the Rapper

Photo Credit: mtv.com

Samantha     

Do you only listen to rap?

Chris     

Mostly, yes. I also prefer bluesy rock/southern rock. Gary Clark Jr is another great artist

Q.C.     

Music’s great because there’s so many options

Chris     

Dude can play a guitar

Q.C.     

Yeah he can. My buddy loves him, but I’ve never given him a good listen. Mainly because Dave Matthews Band is his favorite band, so I’m slightly judging him (no offense to Dave Matthews)

Samantha     

How do you two feel about Nathaniel Ratecliff?

Chris     

Haven’t heard of Nathaniel Ratecliff

Q.C.     

Me neither. I’m listening to “Look It Here” now, though. Pretty good

Samantha     

Dudes – you are killing me!

Chris     

A cursory glance of Nathaniel Ratecliff tells me I might like him–I’ll check him out

Samantha     

He was at Coachella apparently (it is actually Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats)

Q.C.     

Have you heard of Béla Fleck and the Flecktones?

Samantha     

Yes. Way to pull out the banjo

Q.C.     

Victor Wooten plays for them, and I’ll be damned if there’s a better bassist than he

Chris     

That’s a bold statement that….uhhh, that one guy….might have an issue with (I don’t know bassists)

Q.C.     

There’s also a guy named Spaceman, who is their drummer, but he uses a guitar looking things with buttons that make drum sounds from audio files

Chris

A keytar?  

Samantha     

Our Spiceworks account person would be upset – she plays bass

Q.C.     

Y’all aren’t into hard rock / metal, so let’s just skip my “have you heard” band lol. There’s no way of putting this that doesn’t make me sound like some kind of asshole, but some of the stuff I listen to isn’t for casual listening. Like, “hey check out this song to know the band”, like you can with other genres and that makes me sad.

Chris     

Ahh, that’s rough

Samantha     

Best concert you have ever been at – go!

Chris     

I’m not a fan of concerts. Is that bad? I’ve been dragged to most concerts and end up really not liking them

Samantha     

I agree but if the person is naturally gifted they are amazing!

Q.C.     

The best concert I’ve been to has been Bayside or Bad Religion. Both put on a damn fine show

Samantha     

Best concert – Michael Buble, for sure!

Chris     

All the people I want to see I end up finding out they already came through town after the fact

Samantha     

Well you need to get on that, haha

Q.C.     

The coolest show I’ve been to, however, was Metallica’s “Too Heavy For Halftime” show before this year’s Super Bowl. It was out on AT&T Park in SF, which was pretty cool

Samantha     

On a more real point on concerts, who can afford them anymore?!

Q.C.     

Right!?

Samantha     

I mean, you have to spend over $100 to get good seats

Chris     

Totally. Although, if I could bring up Chance again,–and here’s a good reason about why you should support him–he only makes money from touring and merch. He puts all of his music out there for free. So if you get a chance to see Chance, go support ya boy

Samantha     

Where is he from?

Chris     

Chicago. He met Kanye West so he’s never going to fail.

Q.C.     

Good CHANCE I wasn’t going to pay for his music anyways…. (I’ll see myself out)

Chris     

Heyooooooo

Samantha     

It just got real! Speaking of name puns – is Flo Rida really just Florida?

Chris     

Yes

Q.C.     

Mind was blown when I first figured that out

Chris     

Ok, all-time favorite artist?

Q.C.     

Without a doubt: Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. But seriously, Metallica.

Photo Credit: hollywoodlife.com

Chris     

They did bring those good vibrations

Samantha     

I do not have one… But the top 5 artists as far as the amount of their music I have is (not in any particular order and I am just guessing): Taylor Swift, Eminem, Joss Stone, Mary J Blige, and, by default, Garth Brooks (long story, haha)

Q.C.     

Garth! Hell yeah!

Chris     

Garth is nice

Q.C.     

I saw Eminem and Rhianna at the Rose Bowl last year. I don’t know why I was there, but I was. She had a Judas Priest shirt on, which I thought was a little strange

Samantha     

Yeah – solid dude! Thunder Rolls – best background music for a song ever! Well Kanye West performed at my High School where he made a fool of himself

Q.C.   

Hahahah Oh, Kanye

Chris     

DON’T YOU DARE SULLY THE NAME OF KANYE WEST. PRAISE YEEZUS

Photo Credit: factmag.com

Q.C.     

Is he your favorite, Chris?

Chris     

All-time, yes. Love him. And I will fight anyone that says otherwise

Q.C.     

Do you have a pair of Yeezys?

Chris     

I do not, s**t costs too much

Samantha     

I mean, he said “where is the class of 2005 at?” and 2005 had already graduated…

Chris

KANYE DON’T CARE ABOUT YEARS

Q.C.     

Lmao

Chris     

WHEN YOU YEEZUS YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW WHAT YEAR IT IS

Q.C.     

Kanye invented time, I’ve heard

Chris     

This is true

Samantha     

And then they asked him a question he could not answer so the lovely students of SAMOHI posted the question all over the school the next day.

Q.C.     

He’s the subject of the one of the greatest South Park episodes, too

Chris

Yeah he is! Fishsticks.

Q.C.

Ok, guilty-pleasure artist? Like someone you love, but hate/ are embarrassed to admit.

Chris     

Any 90’s boy band. *NSYNC, Backstreet Boys. No Strings Attached by *NSYNC might be one of the best albums of all time

Q.C.     

No doubt there. Such a cultural impact too

Chris     

Seriously–that whole period was a great time for music. You just had to wade through a lot of shit

Q.C.     

Hahahahah you sure did

Samantha     

I agree. I have every song from the High School Musical trilogy…

Q.C.     

Nice!

Chris     

Ohh, that’s super guilty

Q.C.     

Mine would be Five Finger Death Punch. The name says it all….

Samantha     

We should rename these reviews to: “Why Samantha Wont Find The “One””

Q.C.     

HAHAHAHA oh no!

Samantha     

It’s all good – I just have to sway potential suitors away from these articles

Chris     

Hahahah. Or show it to them and be like, “THIS IS WHO I AM”

Q.C.     

Never apologize, Sam

Chris     

Ever. Ok–Least favorite genre of music?

Samantha     

Sorry Q – metal but more specifically scream. Like can you stop screaming?

Q.C.     

No need to apologize, I don’t like the screaming anyways, but the music behind it is great. I tune it out. Mine’s that crappy hip-hop rap crap. Like that “Work” song by Rhianna. How is that even music?

Chris     

Fun fact: a homeless or just super drunk guy sang “Work” outside of my apartment for around 2 hours on a Saturday night a month ago

Q.C.     

HAHAHAHAH that’s fantastic

Chris     

Except he didn’t know the rest of the words and just kept repeating, “Work work work work work”

Q.C.     

Hahahha there’s other words?

Samantha     

I mean, isn’t that the song? HAHA

Q.C.     

So awful

Chris     

There’s other words, but he mumbled them and got right back to “work”

Samantha     

Does anyone else notice that song titles seem to go in cycles – like all of sudden there are 20 songs out now with “work” in the title

Q.C.     

Ugh. But yeah, songs like that, if there’s a genre attached to that

Chris     

I would say country. I used to be a big fan, actually, but now I haven’t turned on country radio in about 2 years.

Samantha     

Ah country is really just rock now

Q.C.     

Seriously

Chris     

I know hip-hop repeats a lot of the same themes, but at least they do it in an artistic way with metaphors and wordplay. Country is just beating a dead horse

Q.C.     

I heard a country song the other day that had the lyric, “hell yeah I love my truck!”

Samantha     

Well the dude clearly loves his truck!

Q.C.     

And that’s just so awesome to me

Chris     

Exactly! They’re just super blatant about it now with no artistic value

Samantha     

And rock doesn’t exist. Rock is now “alternative”

Q.C.     

*ahem* Metallica still exists….So rock still exists

Samantha     

Aren’t they considered “hard rock”?

Q.C.     

They ARE Rock

Samantha     

The same way that Taylor Swift is no longer country and just pop or Pink started as R&B and then went to rock and is now pop

Q.C.     

I guess so, but they turn up on every rock station or playlist

Chris     

I contend that there is no better “pump up” song than “Enter Sandman” by Metallica

Q.C.     

Yep. “Sandman” is the ultimate pump up, you’re right. Fantastic.

Samantha     

A song just came on my iPod – “That is How You Know You F*cked Up”

Chris     

Well, I think we’re done here. This was a great discussion, and I like seeing all the different musical tastes we have. I think we can all agree on one thing, circus music is horrible. See you next time!

Q.C.     

Chris

Oh god, the horror!

The post Colocation America Reviews: Music appeared first on Colocation America.

Q.C.
TAKE 5 MASTER RACE

Samantha
Say what?

Q.C.
BOW TO YOUR TAKE 5 OVERLORDS

Chris
Q is already on the Take 5 bandwagon, so let’s get into it. What is your favorite candy bar?

Photo Credit: pixel-whisk.com

Samantha
Honestly, I have to Google “candy bars” to remember which ones I like.

Q.C.
It’s really hard to choose between a Take 5 and a snickers… and then there’s Reese’s… so difficult

Samantha
I’ve always been a fan of Twix. I have no idea what Take 5 is – is this an East Coast thing again?

Chris
I’ve never had a Take 5

Q.C.
Really? Wow. Interesting–they’re awfully good, but I don’t think they’re exclusively East Coast

Chris
Yeah, because I’m a normal human and not some fringe weirdo. What’s in a Take 5? Please say nouget

Q.C.
Nougat, Caramel, peanut butter, chocolate, and pretzel

Chris
Woah, pretzel? That’s intense

Q.C.
TAKE 5 ISN’T PLAYING, SON

Chris
They really aren’t.

Q.C.
I did grow up geographically closer to Hershey, PA than any of you dweebs

Samantha
Have you ever been to Hershey Park? Love it!

Q.C.
YES SIR

Photo Credit: thecentralhotelharrisburg.com

Samantha
Really I love that they have “Peanut Free Zones” which makes no sense.

Chris
Hershey Park is actually a criminally underrated theme park. Pretty good coasters

Q.C.
Absolutely it is. Also has one of the catchiest songs of all time if you take the “chocolate factory” tour:

Samantha
The camp I work at every summer is a “Peanut Free Camp” and yet we take kids to Hershey Park. My mind is blown!

Chris
Hershey Park will do that to you.

Samantha
So my Google search result rendered this

“Hokkaido Watermelon with Mascarpone cheese” is on sale!
It’s Limited Regional Products.
→https://t.co/JRuutMp9bY pic.twitter.com/LgdP1UOb6s

— KIT KAT Japan (@KITKATJapan) April 25, 2016

Chris
TIL AOL is still a thing. Wait, so Kit Kat is trying to release a melon, cheese, and white chocolate candy? Dude, Japan is weird

Samantha
Yeah – Kit Kat is weird.

Q.C.
Dude, you can buy underwear out of a vending machine in Japan

Chris
Well, that should be mandatory everywhere

Q.C.
Colocation America Reviews: Vending Machine Underwear

Chris
LOVE THEM

Q.C.
I like the refrigerated ones because they feels all nice when you slip ’em on

Samantha
You never know when you need a clean pair of underwear. My Grammie always told me to have clean underwear in case I die.

Chris
Ok, so Q is all about Take 5’s, Sam is on the Twix bandwagon…My personal favorite? MILKY WAY

Photo Credit: wikipedia.org

Q.C.
Woah woah woah. I could just as easily said to bow to your Snickers overlords, or your Reese’s overlords

Chris
Dark chocolate Milky Way

Q.C.
Milky Way is a fine choice

Samantha
So no “regular” Milky Way?

Chris
Ehh, in a pinch

Q.C.
Dark Chocolate Milky Way is the pick of a psychopath.

Chris
THEN CONSIDER ME CHARLES MANSON

Q.C.
Alright

Chris
But for real, the caramel, the chocolate, the nouget…mmm

Q.C.
So, Charles, what is it about the dark chocolate that attracts you?

Chris
BECAUSE IT’S DELICIOUS

Q.C.
Do you find yourself choosing dark over milk in most instances of life?

Chris
Yes. It’s because the voices in my head tell me to

Samantha
How do I make this comment Safe For Work? Are you in need of some release?

Chris
Yes, I am. A dark chocolate release.

Q.C.
Ah, yes.

Samantha
Isn’t dark chocolate used for, um, yeah

Chris
Dark chocolate is used for what?

Q.C.
SEX. Aphrodisiac

Chris
Oh, I understand that it’s an aphrodisiac but so are clams, and I’m not out there craving a clam candy bar

Q.C.
…yet

Chris
JAPAN, GET ON IT

Q.C.
Kit Kat Clam

Chris
Mmmmm

Q.C.
The alliteration is waiting for them. Just make it happen

Samantha
All bad

Q.C.
Tomorrow for Cinco De Mayo (I’m so sorry if I spelled that wrong, but only until November) we’re all having Take 5’s. NO EXCEPTIONS

Samantha
So really it is just a Hershey bar?

Q.C.
How dare you, Sam. A Hershey’s bar is only one of the elements of a Take 5

Chris
Ok, what’s your least favorite candy bar?

Q.C.
Mounds

Chris
Three Musketeers

Photo Credit: thekrazycouponlady.com

Q.C.
It’s everything that could be wrong with an Almond Joy

Chris
Not a fan of coconut?

Q.C.
I LOVE coconut. Also, I think you don’t enjoy Three Musketeers because you’re not a father–that’s a dad-snack for sure

Chris
Hahahah. Three Musketeers: The official candy bar of dads worldwide

Q.C.
The tagline for Almond Joy is so true… “Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t”. HOWEVER–and this’ll disappoint you, they remove the Almond from the candy bar, and instead wrap the coconut around dark f*****g chocolate

Chris
DON’T YOU DARE SULLY THE NAME OF DARK CHOCOLATE

Q.C.
Which is heinous

Chris
Why did the Three Musketeers people decide that someone wanted more chocolate inside their chocolate bar?

Q.C.
Well, I think they wanted fluffier chocolate, but then also were smart enough to know that it would be difficult to unwrap without the chocolate shell

Chris
Nobody wants fluffy chocolate though. I’ve never had chocolate and said, “I wish this was lighter and fluffier”. Chocolate isn’t pillows

Q.C.
That’s fair

Samantha
What? You think people want it hard?

Chris
I want hard, tooth-shattering chocolate. EVERYONE LIKES IT HARD, SAM

Q.C.
Hard, dark chocolate

Chris
Q gets it

Samantha
Is bigger better?

Chris
Always. Don’t bring that fun size s**t

Samantha
No one wants it small and fluffy?

Chris
When I want chocolate, I want it hard, dark, and big. Just like my mom likes it.

Q.C.
Creme filled?

Chris
Definitely.

Samantha
Has anyone had an Almond Joy?

Q.C.
Where were you the past 5 minutes!?

Samantha
I LOVE ALMOND JOYS. Is it really full of joy?

Q.C.
Yes. I like nuts (heh) in candy bars, but I hate them in other sweets. HATE THEM. Get out of my cookies and cakes, but you can stay in my chocolate and brownies. I get deeply, cripplingly depressed when I see a brownie, bite into it and there’s like walnuts or some bulls**t in there

Chris
People shouldn’t sleep on Payday’s or Baby Ruth’s, either. Salty peanuts and sweet caramel? I’m in

Samantha
I feel like the name of candy bars are made to be made fun of. Like “Butterfinger” and “Mr. Goodbar”

Chris
OH MAN I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT BUTTERFINGERS. That’s my hands down favorite. What did I say earlier? Milky Way? I take it back

Photo Credit: socialmoms.net

Q.C.
Butterfinger Crunch is where it’s at

Samantha
See what a Google search can do for our Reviews, haha.

Q.C.
Peanut Butter Butterfingers make my Mr. Goodbar hard

Chris
Butterfingers always get top billing, even if I feel like they’re trying to remove my teeth

Q.C.
I respect the take-back.

Chris
Yeah, I’m going back on it because I forgot about Butterfingers. I’m not much of a candy guy

Q.C.
Fair enough

Chris
Do Pop Tarts count as candy? You can get them in most vending machines

Samantha
Really guys all I want is a Willy Wonka Bar with a Golden Ticket inside

Q.C.
Why? So you can go and get murdered in his factory?

Chris
Like that one chick that turned into a blueberry

Samantha
I just want to try all the edible plants and go into that creepy tunnel and then fly thanks to the bubbles in the drink

Chris
Sam, subtly hinting that she wants to take edibles

Samantha
True

Chris
Is that the next wave? Marijuana infused candy?

Q.C.
Oh probably

Samantha
It has already started

Chris
I’d enjoy it. Buzz-erfingers

Q.C.
Haaaaaaaa

Samantha
That’s a good one!

Q.C.
Snickers is already perfectly named, imo

Chris
Totally

Q.C.
Man, how good are Snickers

Chris
Snickers might be the perfect candy bar

Q.C.
They’re nearly the perfect thing to put in your mouth

Chris
Especially frozen

Q.C.
Absolutely

Samantha
Oh Candy Bars turned into Ice Cream Bars actually make me like candy bars.

Chris
What’s your opinion on M&M’s?

Q.C.
It’s not a candy bar

Samantha
M&M’s is not a candy bar

Q.C.
The pretzel ones are like meth. METH. The peanut butter ones are great too. I’m surprised you guys don’t like candy bars all that much. Probably why you’re both fitter than I.

Chris
Mine’s more of a self-control thing—if I eat a candy bar, I’ll eat all of them. I know this for a fact based off the empty pint of ice cream that I woke up to this morning

Q.C.
Hahahahahha that’s great self-control

Samantha
I am not a big candy person. However, give me a granola bar with chocolate chips and peanut butter and I am eating the whole box!

Q.C.
Sam that sentence hurt me and I’m sorry. I don’t mean to judge, but ugh–I just come in here with the mindset of talking about chocolate and peanut butter and sugar and the word “granola” is just such a downer, however delicious they may be

Chris
Peanut butter and chocolate is too good. That’s why Reese’s might be tops too

Q.C.
Oh it’s on the Mount Rushmore of candy bars for sure

Chris
Speaking of, it was a peanut butter cup ice cream that I ate a whole pint of

Q.C.
Verrrry nice!

Samantha
There’s nothing wrong with a granola bar. Look how delicious this is:

Photo Credit: naturevalley.com

Q.C.
No, it looks absolutely delicious

Chris
That looks great

Q.C.
What I’m saying is to not come into my candy bar conversation talking about granola

Chris
How do you guys feel about the straight up, regular Hershey’s bar?

Q.C.
The true classic

Samantha
Solid! I mean, in a S’more

Chris
Definitely in a S’more.

Q.C.
So, Reese’s, Butterfingers, Snickers, and The melon Kit Kat thing are all 10/10

Chris
What about Nestle Crunch? Flight of the Navigator made me a fan of those

Samantha
Crunch! So good with ice cream.

Q.C.
Oh those are great. I thank those little Vietnamese children working 16 hour days every time I enjoy them

Chris
Wait, Vietnamese children make Nestle Crunch bars?

Samantha
Well Hershey is ‘merican

Q.C.
Eh, probably. I don’t know exactly the country, it was just what came to mind

Chris
I mean, I’m not gonna look for a source, so I’ll just take your word for it

Q.C.
Yeah, that’s probably best

Chris
Is candy made by slave child labor better than candy made in a factory from machines?

Q.C.
Always has been and forever will

Samantha
Good to know!

Chris
Anything else we should cover?

Q.C.
Yes—why do foreign Kit Kats taste better than domestic Kit Kats?

Samantha
Nope – I mean, candy bars are fine but I think we established that granola bars are better.

Chris
WE DID NOT ESTABLISH THAT, SAM

Q.C.
Yeah I don’t remember that at all

Chris
Wait, I’ve never had a foreign Kit Kat to compare

Q.C.
Now, this is true, guys. Go get a Mexican Kit Kat or a Canadian one, or one from France, etc.

Chris
What’s the difference?

Q.C.
Those are made by Nestle and it’s the original recipe (the one from when we were kids)

Chris
They changed the recipe?

Q.C.
The ones you get in the States nowadays are made by Hershey and that’s why foreign Kit Kats taste better than domestic ones. And that’s your COLOCATION AMERICA FUN FACT

Chris
And that’s it for this week! Thanks!

Featured Image Credit: bitsofeverything.com

The post Colocation America Reviews: Candy Bars appeared first on Colocation America.